Episode 151A – Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Episode 151A Show Notes

Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, it’s our annual New Year’s special. You’ll see that games can be deadly serious, that you should never trust an owl, and that the lords of the dead are tricksy fellows. Then, in Gods and Monsters, be careful not to say the name of this trickster spirit lest ye incur its wrath. This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. This is Episode 151A, “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”. As always, this episode is not safe for work.
With the new year once more upon us, it’s time for the annual New Year’s Special. This year will actually be the first part of a story of life, death, and rebirth. With the state of things and the anxiety many of us have about the coming year, this seemed an appropriate topic. Hopefully we can find a little light in the darkness.
This week’s story is a favorite of mine. It comes from the Popol Vuh, one of the few surviving texts telling the stories of Mayan mythology from before the Spanish conquest, specifically the K’iche’ people of what is now Guatemala. While the Spanish invaders made a concerted effort to eliminate all traces of the indigenous beliefs when they arrived, a few accounts were able to survive, including the Popol Vuh, prepared from the oral tradition by Dominican Friar Francisco Ximenez in the early 18th century. I’ll be using the translation by Allen J. Christenson. We’ll be diving into the origin story of the Hero Twins Hunahpu and Xbalanque.
To get to that story though, we first need to back up and meet Hun Hunahpu (1-Hunter) and Vucub Hunahpu (7-Hunter), themselves a pair of twins and different people than the aforementioned Hunahpu (Hunter) and his brother Xbalanque (Jaguar Deer). You’re going to see a lot of people with numbers in their names; this is because it was common in Mayan tradition to be named after calendar dates. Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu were the children of Xpiyacoc and Xmucane and were every bit as close as you might expect twins to be. Hun Hunahpu married a woman named Xbaquiyalo and they had two sons, Hun Batz (1-Howler Monkey) and Hun Chouen (also 1-Howler Monkey, but using the word from the Yucatec Maya instead of the K’iche’ one). Vucub Hunahpu on the other hand had no wife and no children. He was the eternal companion of his brother, considered by the text to be a secondary figure – practically a servant to the more heroic twin.
Both men were extremely well-educated and were considered wise and deep thinkers as well as being widely-renowned seers. They were good, strong, kind men and very talented to boot. These talents, they passed on to Hun Batz and Hun Chouen, who both became flautists, singers, writers, sculptors, jade jewelers, and precious metalsmiths. Despite these varied artistic talents, the elder twins Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu preferred to spend their days with their two great passions in life – dicing and playing Pok Ta Pok (a Mayan ballgame). As soon as the younger twins were old enough, the four of them would spend as much time as they possibly could squaring off in 2-on-2 Pok Ta Pok.
Whenever the four would gather in the ballcourt to play, Falcon would arrive to watch them. The magnificent bird was the messenger of Huracan (One Legged), Youngest Thunderbolt, and Sudden Thunderbolt, a trio of storm gods. Given his job, Falcon was free to wander between the sky, the earth and the underworld, known as Xibalba (the place of fear). He could travel between the three realms in an instant, returning to Huracan as soon as he was summoned. By the time our story truly begins, Xbaquiyalo had died offstage, leaving the two brothers to raise the two younger men all by themselves in a seething cloud of testosterone.
For reasons that are not adequately explained, the ballcourt where the four men preferred to play Pok Ta Pok lay along the road to Xibalba. The game is simple but incredibly challenging. The goal is to keep a rubber ball weighing up to about 9 pounds off the ground and knock it through a vertical hoop at the center of the court without using your hands. As you can imagine if you’ve ever heard people playing basketball or tennis, it was not a quiet game and the constant noise soon grated on Hun Kame (1-Death) and Vucub Kame (7-Death), the lords of Xibalba.
“What the fuck is going on up on the earth? Those assholes are constantly shouting and stomping and generally being incredibly inconsiderate neighbors. Clearly something needs to be done about it or we’re never going to get any peace.” “You’re right, brother. I have an idea – since they love their damned ballgame so much, let’s challenge them to a match for real stakes. They have failed to honor us or respect us, acting so arrogantly over our heads.” It’s worth noting at this point that, according to some accounts, games of Pok Ta Pok were often played for the very highest stakes – the players’ lives. The winning team would have the right to execute the losing team as a sacrifice to the gods. Clearly this didn’t happen at every game (or the two younger men and the two older men couldn’t keep playing each other), but the lords of Xibalba play for keeps. Don’t fuck around with Death.
Hun Kame and Vucub Kame called together some of their vassals (all lesser lords of Xibalba) to act as referees for the match. They called for Flying Scab and Gathered Blood, who carried diseases to sicken people in their blood, gathering up blood shed from illness, disease, or violence to serve their fellow lords at banquets. They called for Pus Demon and Jaundice Demon, who swell people up with illness until pus oozes from their skin and they turn yellow with, well, jaundice. They called for Bone Staff and Skull staff, the standard bearers of the lords of the dead (political and religious leaders often carried ornately carved silver staffs symbolizing divine power). Naturally, their staffs were made of bone, which they used to starve away people’s flesh until they were nothing but bare bone, their flesh having wasted away. They called for Sweepings Demon (though a better translation might be Trash Demon) and Stabbings Demon, who would punish those who abandoned swept up rubbish and gathered trash outside their houses, stabbing them until they died. Finally, they called for Lord Wing and Packstrap (the strap worn across the forehead by porters to carry heavy loads), who had dominion over those who died on the road from bearing heavy burdens over long distances. These poor souls would die vomiting blood, their necks and hearts worn out by the unbearable work.
With the judges assembled, owls were brought as messengers for the lords of death (which is why owls are considered very ill omens, harbingers of sickness and death). The four messengers were Arrow Owl, One Leg Owl, Macaw Owl, and Skull Owl. Arrow Owl was named for his swift flight and the deadly piercing nature of his strikes. One Leg Owl, unsurprisingly, had only one leg but it didn’t seem to hinder him in his duties. Macaw Owl had a red back, looking like a mix of owl and macaw parrot. And if you’ve sensed the theme here, then you’ve probably already guessed that Skull Owl is just a winged, grinning skull – no legs, no body, just a flapping skull like a videogame enemy.
These four owls winged their way out of Xibalba and perched atop one of the high stone walls around the ballcourt where the two pairs of twins were playing, which was known as Nimxor, which means honor (nim) and respect (xob’). You know, the exact two things that the lords of the dead were just complaining that the living athletes weren’t showing? That’s not an accident. Play stopped as the men noticed the ill omens looking down on them from high above. Once all was still, the owls delivered their message from Hun Kame and Vucub Kame, along with the assembled vassals we named before. They invited Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu down to the land of the dead to play Pok Ta Pok. Xibalba would provide the court, and the mortals would provide the equipment – balls and pads.
The twins weren’t sure they could have declined this invitation, even if they’d been inclined to try. “Very well. Tell the Lords of Xibalba that we will come, but first we need to let our mother know where we’re going.” Their father had died years ago, so it was only their mother to break the news to that they were going on a very perilous journey. Xmucane wept bitterly at this news, but her sorrow wasn’t enough to stop her sons from going to the underworld to play a game.
Before they left though, they tied their best rubber ball above the house (it’s unclear whether this is hanging in a tree overhead or tied to the roof or something). Pointing this out to the boys, Hun Batz and Hun Chouen, they told them to wait here in the land of the living for them to come back. “That’s our very favorite ball, so you know that we’ll have to come back to fetch it. Your grandmother is upset about this whole thing though, so it’s your job to take care of her and cheer her up while we’re gone.” The elder twins grinned. “Don’t worry – we’re too pretty to die. We’ll be back soon.” And with that, they journeyed down the road to Xibalba after their flying guides.
The path was long and steep, down treacherous stairs into the earth until they came out again beside Trembling Canyon and Murmuring Canyon, both roaring with turbulent rivers rushing through them. The twins passed along these canyons and crossed Scorpion River, which wasn’t just a catchy name. Indeed, it was absolutely swarming with innumerable scorpions but, being quick and clever athletes, they escaped without being stung. They came next to Blood River, which is exactly what it sounds like. The story says they were able to pass safely because they didn’t drink from the river, but my question is why would they even be tempted to? Who sees a flowing river of fresh blood and thinks ‘maybe I should take a sip from that’? Perhaps it means that they were able to swim across without accidentally swallowing any, which would make more sense to me.
Anyway, they crossed Blood River and came next to the disgusting Pus River, which is again exactly what you think it is. It was super gross, but they steeled their nerve and crossed this river safely as well. Ew, especially with a clear lack of actual water rivers to wash off in. Finally, Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu came to a crossroads. Much like in modern American folklore, crossroads were seen as dangerous places that could act as focal points for unseen and unwelcome powers from all directions. It was tradition for the K’iche’ people to ceremonially collect the sins of their community and abandon them at the crossroads. You can imagine then that a crossroads in the world of the dead is especially dangerous. Four roads wound out before them: Red Road, Black Road, White Road, and Yellow Road. These four colors were symbolically tied to the four cardinal directions: red to the east, black to the west, white to the north, and yellow to the south.
The guides were, for unexplained reasons, of no help here. Maybe they had been instructed to let the men choose their own path. Maybe they had only been along to guide them into Xibalba and not through it. Whatever the reason, the brothers were faced with a choice and no clear answer – which way to go? As they peered down the four potential roads, it was the western road, the Black Road, that caught their attention. “Walk down my path for I am the lord’s road!” That seemed as good a reason as any and so the brothers followed the talking Black Road.
Here, they made their first mistake. While the Black Road is indeed the path of the lords of Xibalba, that makes it the path of death. It is the way the sun takes when it dies at the end of each day and it is the way that dead souls must make their way to the afterlife. By taking the Black Road, the twins made themselves vulnerable. True to its word though, it did indeed lead to the palace of Hun Kame and Vucub Kame. And it was here that Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu made their second mistake. They spied many still figures sitting in the courtyard, dressed in the finery of the gods of the dead. The twins walked up to these and greeted them. “Good morning, Hun Kame. Good morning, Vucub Kame.” Unfortunately, these were not actually the true death lords, but wooden effigies carved into a very clever likeness and dressed to look like gods. It was a trick and they had fallen for it.
From deeper in the palace the true lords of Xibalba roared with laughter. The sound of the two death gods and their assembled vassals was terrifying to hear, a deep rumble like an earthquake or thunder carried on the rushing winds of a terrible storm. The challengers had won the first victory, a psychological and metaphysical one, and everyone knew it. Things were not starting out well for the human twins. “I can’t believe you fell for that! A fine joke, but in all seriousness we are glad you have accepted our invitation. Tomorrow, you will strap on your arm guards and hip pads and we will play Pok Ta Pok. For now though, have a seat and take a load off. You must be exhausted after your long trek.”
Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu were indeed quite tired and so were glad to sit down. At first. See, the bench they were offered turned out to be scalding hot, searing their asses as soon as they sat on it. Screeching in pain and surprise, they leapt to their feet to more Xibalban laughter. This too had been a trick and again they had fallen for it. Another point for the lords of the dead. This was even funnier than the first one to them because the humans had gotten hurt, which was apparently hilarious. They laughed until their ribs ached with it, until they were literally rolling on the floor with it. At long last, they finally regained their composure and addressed the burned, embarrassed, and angry twins. “Okay enough tricks. Head over to the house to find beds that have been set aside for you. Someone will be along shortly with a torch and some cigars.” Yes really – cigars. Smoking tobacco is an ancient Mayan tradition, carrying with it religious significance. In fact, the word cigar is likely derived from the verb sik’arik, which means ‘to smoke’.
Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu headed in the indicated direction and came to the House of Darkness. As you probably expect given how literal absolutely everything is in Xibalba, this house was indeed doused in constant, impenetrable darkness. Once they were gone, the lords of Xibalba gathered to scheme. “They fell for every trick! This is going to be even easier than we thought. Tomorrow, they will lose the game and we will claim their lives as a sacrifice. They’re good at Pok Ta Pok, but I doubt they’ve ever played the way we do, with the ball that we use.” You see, the lords of the dead played a very metal as hell version of the ball game. Instead of the usual hard rubber ball, they played with a round blade called White Dagger, a sacrificial knife that had been forged into a ball but still wickedly sharp on the edges.
Meanwhile, back in the House of Darkness, someone did finally come along with the promised torch and cigars. All three had already been lit for the convenience of the human guests. The servant bowed as he handed over the three items. “Here you are, by the courtesy of the lords of Xibalba. My lords have instructed that these things are not to be used up tonight, but to be returned intact in the morning. Sleep well, mortals.” And the servant was gone. And here again, the twins failed their trial for there was of course no way to return the torch or the cigars after they had been burned in the House of Darkness. There are many trials and tests in the land of the dead. After darkness comes the Shivering House, a place rimed with heavy frost and forever howling with an icy gale. Next comes Jaguar House, filled with – you guessed it – hungry jaguars. Fourth is Bat House, which sounds like a reprieve after a room full of snarling jaguars though if these bats are anything like Camazotz from Episode 58, then it’s going to be a very harrowing night. Fifth is Blade House, which is basically a trap from the Saw movies. It is, very clearly, a place filled with flint and obsidian knives, razor sharp as they clashed together to tear anyone unlucky enough to be inside to ribbons.
Fortunately for Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu, they were only faced with the first house, and darkness isn’t all that bad when you’re trying to get some sleep. Soon enough, morning came and the twins were summoned to the ballcourt for their game. Hun Kame and Vucub Kame stood there in all their cold, imperious glory. “Where are the cigars and the torch that we loaned you last night? You were told to return them whole to us this morning.” “We, well, we used them, my lords. They burnt to ash.” The death lords grinned. “Then so too are your lives at an end. You die today.” The twins realized that they had been tricked yet again and had failed the final crucial test. There would be no ballgame – they had already lost.
Hun Hunahpu and Vucub Hunahpu were sacrificed right there in the ballcourt and their bodies were buried in Xibalba, in the court known as Crushing. The name is likely a pun (the Mayans were very fond of wordplay and double meanings) referring to the dust of the court being crushed underfoot but also a place where opponents are crushed into submission and also the feeling of crushing humiliation that the losers feel in this place upon their failure. I said their bodies were buried before because Hun Hunahpu’s head was very much not buried. Instead, it was cut off as a trophy. “Hang that in the tree that grows beside the road to Xibalba,” said the lords of death as they handed off the grisly prize to their servants.
And so they did. In some versions, the heads of both twins are hung in the tree together. Something strange happened then. I mean, there’s been a lot of strangeness already, but this is something the story calls out as unusual. Given that this tree grew underground in the land of the dead, it had quite understandably never borne fruit. Soon after Hun Hunahpu’s head was hung up in it though, it was suddenly laden with heavy calabash. This then is the origin of the calabash tree, whose hard, white rind looks quite a bit like a human skull. The lords of Xibalba marveled at this unexpected development. The round fruit was now everywhere, making it difficult to spot the hanging, rotting head since it now looked quite a lot like the fruit surrounding it. It became something of a marvel to the inhabitants of the underworld, and everyone knew that it had only flowered once the mortal man’s head had been hung up in it. Something supernatural was clearly going on here, and the Xibalbans were nervous about it. Thus, it was ordered that no one should cut open the strange skull-like fruit or sit beneath the branches of the calabash tree.
Of course, you can’t make a blanket restriction like that and not expect someone to be curious about it. Enter the maiden Lady Blood, daughter of Lord Gathered Blood. Blood was a mystic substance in Mayan society, bearing within it the essence of the ancestors and, by extension, the founding deities of the world who they had descended from. Blood is the source of life, transcending the individual it springs from to include all the ancestral dead. Thus did Lady Blood straddle the worlds of living and dead in a very real metaphysical way even though she dwelt in Xibalba.
It was her father in fact, the Lord of Gathered Blood, who told her about the strange calabash tree and its grisly fruit. She was amazed by the strange tale and defiant about the restrictions against it. To be fair, it sounds like these were mostly self-imposed by the denizens of Xibalba rather than a rule imposed by the lords of death. “I need to see this tree for myself. Maybe seeing it will help me understand its mysteries. And I hear that its fruit is especially delicious.” I don’t know where she would have heard such a thing since literally everyone else has sworn never to eat of its fruit. I’m pretty sure she just made that up and attributed it to the nebulous and never to be trusted ‘They’. You know, they say and it’s always something specious?
Anyway, Lady Blood resolved to see this tree for herself and so she made the journey out to Crushing Ballcourt. She found the calabash tree standing beside the Black Road where it had been planted not far from the stadium. Entranced by its strange beauty, the maiden wandered alone beneath its boughs. The fruit hanging above her head looked ripe and succulent. Being a lady of the underworld, its resemblance to a skull and its origins in a decapitated head did not phase her. “What strange fruit is this? I’ve never seen anything like it before. I wonder if it tastes as strange and sweet as it looks. Surely there can be no harm in a taste. I’m a lady of the court of Xibalba. I will not die. I will not be lost. It’s not like anyone would know if I picked one and ate it.”
Lady Blood had been musing these thoughts aloud and so the severed skull of Hun Hunahpu heard her. That’s right, his head is still at least some form of conscious and sentient. Not only did it hear her, it replied. “What exactly are you hoping to get out of this, lady? It is merely a skull, a bloody thing placed in the branches of the trees. Surely you don’t desire that.” Lady Blood nodded her head emphatically. “Yes, I do desire it. I desire it very greatly. I wish to taste it.” The skull considered this. “Very well then. If you truly desire this thing, then stretch out your right hand.”
And so she did. Her hand reached up, stretching out in front of the skull. As it neared, Hun Hunahpu’s skull managed to gather spit from…somewhere (does it still have a tongue at this point?) and spat it onto her palm. Lady Blood recoiled as she heard this but, as she withdrew her hand, she saw no sign of the saliva (although she’d definitely felt it). The skull grinned at her, and not just because that’s what skulls do. “My spit is a sign that I have placed on you. Being just a skull, I don’t exactly function like a man anymore. A great lord should have healthy flesh on his face in a pleasing appearance, but after he dies, that flesh rots away leaving only bones. People are afraid of these old bones even though they were always there beneath the flesh. A man’s son is kind of like his spit in this way. His child is his essence. If that son goes on to become a great lord or sage or poet, then the dead man’s legacy continues beyond him. He will go on after death, neither ruined nor extinguished. The warrior, the sage, the poet will remain in the form of his children. It is done and you have entered into a promise you didn’t entirely realize you were making. Climb now up to the world above – you will not die, protected by this promise.” Having much to think about, the young woman returned home.
This is more than just a parent living out dead dreams vicariously through a child like in modern American society. In a lot of Mayan traditions, reincarnation was very real. Bones were seen as the seeds of life (and, conversely, seeds as tiny skulls or bones), so Hun Hunahpu’s skull is being as much literal as philosophical here. First off, he’s telling her that he just got her magically pregnant. The mixing of blood and bone, the two base elements of life, makes this mystical joining possible. Moreover, this skull is in a very literal sense also a seed hanging from a tree. By passing on his mystical legacy this way, he is, in a very real sense, ensuring that his spirit will also carry on and return to the land of the living. I mean, he does already have two very much alive children back up top but he seems to have forgotten about them. As we’re about to see, these new children are about to be a Very Big Deal. As an aside, we already know that the new life growing in her womb will be sons because it was her right hand she extended at the skull’s request. In Mayan tradition, the right side was associated with the masculine and the left with the feminine.
And thus were conceived the Hero Twins Hunahpu and Xbalanque (because of course she got immediately pregnant from this – that always happens when god magic is involved). We’ve had quite the journey through Xibalba to reach this point, and the babies aren’t even born yet. We’ll have to wait until next time to see what becomes of these mystical children born to Lady Blood and a decapitated skull because it’s time for Gods and Monsters. This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story. This week’s mischievous trickster is the alux.
Many cultures around the world have tales of small woodland spirits with the ability to vanish and the taste for mischief. For the people of the Yucatan Peninsula, modern Belize, and Guatemala, that spirit is the alux, also known as the Chanekeh by the Nahuatl people. Being by nature secretive, they are usually invisible to the naked eye but they are more than capable of letting themselves be seen if there’s a good laugh to be had from it. Aluxo’ob are described as being about knee-high with huge, owlish eyes that can see well in the dappled shadow of the jungles they call home. They are always quick and furtive in their movements – in some versions, this is because they are chimeric creatures with body parts of different quick and clever creatures such as iguanas, deer, macaws, or coati (a racoon-like mammal). In other regions, they are instead considered to have strange, menacing forms that are altogether unnatural, seemingly made of living shadow with glowing red eyes. In still other regions, they appear as miniature Mayan people, complete with traditional Mayan clothing but on a childlike-scale though obviously not children.
It’s unclear whether tales of the aluxo’ob (who were called duendes or elves by the Spanish invaders) were influenced by European tales during the colonization of Mayan lands or if these tales completely predate Spanish influence. Personally, mischievous nature guardians seem like a natural development in any culture with a sacred tie to the natural environment like the Maya had, especially those with monkeys. It should come as no surprise that these tiny spirits were considered to be guardians of the jungle, often acting as intermediaries between the mortal world and the spirit world.
As with many trickster spirits, aluxo’ob are capricious and are just as likely to help out someone in need as to cause chaos. They are curious folk and enjoy playing tricks such as hiding people’s belongings or leading travelers astray. On the other hand, if pleased with someone, they may help out farmers by tending to crops overnight or showing up to aid lost travelers, bestowing either blessings or curses depending on how the traveler greets them. They either do not or cannot cause direct physical harm such as scratching or biting, but they can cause mayhem in other more subtle ways. They may stop a farmer or traveler met on the road for an offering; refuse and the spirit will wreak havoc and spread illness. Meet their conditions however, and they will instead protect the person from thieves and bad luck. It’s all about respect. Proper offerings ranged from gifts of food and simple trinkets to elaborate ceremonies involving music, dance, and prayer. If someone is having a rash of bad luck, it is often believed to be due to having offended an alux, requiring the unlucky soul to make amends by providing offerings or even building a new alux house.
Some Maya believe that the aluxo’ob are called into being when a farmer builds a little house on their property, most commonly in a maize field. For seven years after that, the aluxo’ob will help the corn to grow, summon rain, and patrol the fields at night, whistling to scare off predators and thieves. At the end of these seven years, the farmer must close all the windows and doors of the little house and seal the alux inside. If this is forgotten, the alux will run wild and begin playing tricks on the local populace. Likewise, hunters will often perform a ritual to request the aid of the area’s aluxo’ob before taking the life of an animal lest they plague the interloper with minor illnesses, mischief, or disturbing their sleep at night by causing sounds and disturbances.
With the modernization of the region these forest spirits live in, they have begun to find a new balance in the concrete jungle. They have generally preferred the wild places, but have been known to move into villages and cities if they are intrigued by it or think they will benefit from the move. Stories abound of construction workers sighting aluxo’ob on their job sites and even interfering with projects that do not meet their approval. This has led to some Maya workers building small alux houses on these job sites to prevent the spirits from interfering.
One of the best-known examples of this was the Cancun-Nizuc Bridge between Cancun and Playa del Carmen in the 90s. Construction on this massive structure failed three straight times, only finally proceeding once the local Maya made the appropriate offering to the local aluxo’ob and building them a tiny house. It’s also important to avoid naming the little people in the places where they live as, like with many supernatural things, saying their name can summon them to you. A summoned alux is often grumpy, considering such an act to be quite rude and as such will often enact mischief as retribution. Which, fair. I also wouldn’t want to be pulled off my couch because someone said my name. So if you find yourself in the Yucatan Peninsula and having a string of bad luck, consider making an offering to the local alux. It’s wise to apologize for any offense you may have given, even if you didn’t mean to.
That’s it for this episode of Myths Your Teacher Hated. Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on TuneIn, on Vurbl, and on Spotify, or you can follow us on Instagram as MythsYourTeacherHatedPod, on Tumblr as MythsYourTeacherHated, on Bluesky as MythsPodcast, and on Mastodon as MythsYourTeacherHated. You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com. If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated. The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff.
Next time, we’ll continue Lady Blood’s story as she gives birth to the boys who would become the legendary Hero Twins. You’ll discover that death gods also make shitty dads, that folklore mothers-in-law have often had it out for their new daughters-in-law, and that penises have always been funny. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the deadly spirit that waits to fuck and kill loose men after dark. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.