Episode 136 – Sister Sister – Myths Your Teacher Hated

Episode 136 Show Notes

Source: Romani Folklore

This week on MYTH, we’re going to travel with the Romani of Wales on a very strange journey. You’ll find that you should always offer random old women tea, that you can’t trust rocks, and that you should always speak first. Then, in Gods and Monsters, some princesses are going to get caught dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight. This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. This is Episode 136, “Sister Sister”. As always, this episode is not safe for work.
This week’s tale comes from the Romani people of Wales, specifically members of the Wood clan. The members of this group are descended from Abram Wood who was known in the 1700s as the King of the Gypsies. These tales were collected in the early 1900s by John Sampson and published in 21 Welsh Gypsy Tales in 1933.
Once upon a time, long ago, an old man and an old woman lived in a cottage in the woods. It’s a familiar premise, so it should come as no surprise that this elderly couple had three daughters. This family lived there in their idyllic forest home summer after summer, but all good things must come to an end. Eventually, the old man and the old woman both died, leaving the sisters to fend for themselves. The story doesn’t give any details on their passing, but I imagine that one probably died of old age and the other followed not long after. There’s no indication of any kind of violent or sudden end (and you don’t really need one to explain this situation).
The sisters were old enough to take care of themselves by now, so they dwelt in their cottage for another summer without anything unusual happening. In the second summer after their parents’ passing, a little old woman in a long red cloak wandered through the woods. She came upon the small cottage and decided to knock on the door in the hopes of a little hospitality. The eldest sister answered the door, though I imagine that the other two were clustered in the threshold with her. They didn’t get many visitors, so this would have been something of an occasion.
“Hello there, dearies. Could an old woman trouble you for a cup of tea? I’ve been walking through the woods for hours in the summer’s heat, and it’s left me quite parched.” The eldest sister sniffed. “Can’t you see that we’re just making ends meet? We barely have enough of anything for ourselves, so we definitely don’t have enough to hand out to random old ladies begging at our door. Get lost.” The crone’s eyes shone with insult and irritation and her entire demeanor seemed to change subtly but substantially. “Well fuck thee too then. I shall bind thy head and thine eyes, if I bind not thy whole body for thy insult.” And with those ominous words, the old woman in the red cloak left the cottage and was soon lost amongst the trees.
The three sisters didn’t give much thought to the odd encounter. At first, anyways. You see, after that fateful day, things start going wrong for the three young women in countless small ways that added up to major misfortune. Their lives had always been humble to be sure, but now the sisters were positively destitute. It finally got bad enough that the eldest sister decided that it was up to her to do something about it. “Sisters, things have gotten bad. I don’t see any options around here, so I’m going to go looking for work somewhere else. You two stay here and mind the house while I’m gone. Keep an eye on the spring though. If you see it dry up and find blood in the ladle, then know that some evil has befallen me. If that happens, one of you please come and find me?”
The two younger sisters promised to do as the eldest asked and so she left. After she was gone, they arose each morning and checked the spring in case the dire tokens the eldest sister had warned of came to pass. They’re going to be doing that pretty much every day for the moment, so let’s cut to the eldest sister instead.
I don’t know if the young woman knew where she was going and just severely overestimated her own fortitude or if she was just unaware of the world at large and wandered in it up to her eyeballs. However she got there, the eldest sister journeyed to where the devil never blew his horn and the cock never crowed. Given that this story comes from Wales, I have a sneaking suspicion that she has wandered out of the mortal world and into Otherworld, the mystical land of the fae (or she’s at least in the transitory place between). We haven’t been there in a while, but you hopefully remember that Otherworld is a very dangerous place for a human to wind up.
Night fell as she walked (so I assume this is the first day but time moves strangely in the fairy lands so who knows). She’d been alone this whole time but presently she saw a man in a red jerkin (a tight-fitting jacket, usually without sleeves, worn over the doublet in the 16th and 17th centuries). This is only the second stranger we’ve met and also the second one wearing red, so it should surprise no one that he’s the brother of the little old woman in the red cloak from earlier. She walked up to him since this was literally the only opportunity she’d found this whole time but, before she could open her mouth, he cut her off.
“Art thou seeking work, young maiden?” She nodded. “Yes, I am. Do you have any for me?” The man in the red jerkin smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I do indeed.” He led her a short ways to a gate, which he opened and gestured for her to enter and climb the steep hill beyond. “If thou walkest up to the top of yonder hill, thou wilt get work.” The eldest sister was a little trepidatious about this mildly odd request but she and her sisters were too poor to turn down any option. So up she climbed.
It was tough going and the hill was very, very tall. As hard as she climbed, the peak didn’t seem to be any closer to her. The path up was at least very clear, lined as it was by countless little white stones. From off to one side, a small voice cried out “stop and look!” It caught the sister by surprise and so she did indeed stop and look for the voice’s owner. There was no one there except the little white stones, which cried out again and drew her eye. As she looked at one of the small rocks, she was bewitched. The poor girl fell into a trance and felt her body shiver and change. The world rose up around her…no wait, she was shrinking. In mere moments, she was just another little white stone lining the path up the hill, silent and still. Red Cloak had indeed bound her head and her eyes with an enchantment and now, as threatened, she had bound her whole body.
Meanwhile, back at the cottage, an indeterminate amount of time had passed with no word from the eldest sister. One morning that seemed like any other, the middle sister went out to check the spring as she had every morning since her elder sister left. This time though, she could see that something was different as soon as she opened the door. The spring had dried up completely. Rushing over, she was horrified but unsurprised to find blood in the ladle. “Some evil has clearly befallen my sister.” She raced back inside to find the youngest sister and share the awful news.
As soon as the other had also beheld the terrible portent, the spring flowed clean and clear again and the ladle was bright and spotless. They had promised their eldest sister to come for her and so the middle sister resolved to set out immediately. “You stay here and mind the house while I’m gone. Keep an eye on the spring. If you see it dry up and find blood in the ladle, then know that some evil has befallen me. If that happens, please come and find me?” And she too set out in the direction she’d watched her elder sister go.
I don’t know if they both followed the same path through the woods or if she’s just a good enough tracker to be able to follow her elder sister’s trail. Either way, she was able to journey to that dangerous land where the devil never blew his horn and the cock never crowed. Like her elder, she hadn’t encountered anyone along the entire path of uncertain duration until she came upon the man in the red jerkin. She walked up to him and opened her mouth but before she could utter a word, Red Jerkin cut her off. “Art thou seeking work, young maiden?” She shook her head. “No, I’m actually looking for my older sister. I’m pretty sure she came this way. Have you seen her?”
“I have indeed seen thy sister. She headed up yonder hill beyond the gate. She has found work and is doing very well for herself.” “Could I go see her?” Red Jerkin smiled widely, but it still didn’t reach his eyes. “If thou walkest up to the top of yonder hill, thou wilt find thy sister.” He opened the gate for her and gestured up the hill for her to continue. Nervous but determined, she walked through the gate and began to climb the hill. It was very steep and the going was very rough and the peak didn’t seem to be getting any closer.
“Stop!” cried a small voice. The middle sister ignored it, continuing on her determined way. “Look!” cried a second voice. The young woman ignored that one too. She wasn’t going to be distracted from her search for her sister. “Lo, here is thy sister!” That brought her up short. She stopped abruptly and looked around for the mysterious voice and, even more, for her missing sister but found only the small white stones. As she looked at the small rock that had spoken, she was bewitched. The poor girl fell into a trance and felt her body shiver and change. She twisted and shrunk until she was just another little white stone lining the path up the hill, silent and still.
Meanwhile, back at the cottage, an indeterminate amount of time had passed with no word from either sister. One morning that seemed like any other, the youngest sister went out to check the spring as she had every morning since her middle sister left. This time though, she could see that something was different as soon as she opened the door. The spring had dried up completely. Rushing over, she was horrified but unsurprised to find blood in the ladle. “Some evil has clearly befallen my sister. Again.” She burst into tears at the awful things she imagined might have happened to both of them. After letting herself have a good cry, she dried her tears, gathered her things, and set out at once in search of her two missing sisters, locking the door behind her.
With nothing better to go on, the youngest sister set off down the road that her elder sisters had both followed on their ill-fated journeys (which likely means the middle sister isn’t a champion tracker, she just also followed the road). That twisty road led her to that same strange land where the devil never sounded his horn and the cock never crowed. Like her elders, she hadn’t encountered anyone along the entire path of uncertain duration until she came upon the man in the red jerkin.
The youngest sister had more courage and spirit than her sisters, so she cut Red Jerkin off before he could speak. Being the youngest, she might also have a lot of experience cutting people off to try and get a word in edgewise. She knew that something bad had befallen her sisters, but she didn’t want to give the game away. This odd-looking dude might know something, but she thought it best to play innocent and follow in her eldest sister’s footsteps. “I’m looking for work. Do you know if there’s any work needing to be done around here?” Red Jerkin looked like he had swallowed a particularly pointy stone and it was giving him indigestion, but he nodded. “Yes, there is work for thee.” He was devastated that she had spoken before him. That wasn’t how things were supposed to work!
Dejected or not, Red Jerkin still had a job to do, so he opened the gate for the youngest sister and ushered her up the hill. “If thou walkest up to the top of yonder hill, thou wilt get work.” Thanking him (but also keeping a cautious eye on the strange man in the red jacket), she went through and began to climb. It was very steep and the going was very rough and the peak didn’t seem to be getting any closer.
“Stop!” cried a small voice. Like the middle sister, this young woman also ignored the voice. She’d realized that something was very, very odd about this place and so she had resolved to do exactly as the odd little man had directed – she would climb to the top of the hill and she would not be distracted by any tricks. Keeping her eyes firmly on the path, she continued. “Look” called a second voice. “This is the place!” insisted a third. The young woman ignored them all and kept climbing. “Lo! Here are thy sisters!” She snorted. “Sure, yeah. Go ahead and kiss them then.” Paying even that tempting voice no heed, she struggled up the hill.
It was almost a surprise when the white stones lining the path disappeared and the steep slope flattened out. She’d made it! Looking around, the young woman was disappointed to see no sign of her missing sisters, but that didn’t mean she was alone up on the hilltop. The old woman in the long red cloak who had stopped by their house two summers ago stood nearby. Their eyes met and the startled old woman dropped to her knees. “Hast thou found me then, little lady?” The youngest sister nodded slowly. “It seems that way.”
At those words, the spell was broken. And not just the spell laid on the cottage of the three sisters, all the enchantments cast by Red Cloak over many, many years. All of the white stones were restored to their former human shapes. That’s right – if you hadn’t already guessed, every single one of those white stones lining the path was once a living person cursed by the wandering Red Cloak for being rude or inhospitable. The youngest sister was able to break this spell because she had taken the initiative away from Red Jerkin by speaking first and because she had followed the rules without deviating.
The valiant young woman hurried down the hill to embrace her two somewhat confused sisters. Once they had all hugged and cried for a moment, the youngest led the other two up the hill to where Red Cloak waited. “Here are my two sisters. Are they free to go?” The older woman nodded. “I know them, but it is thou who art mistress of these lands now. All of this, I leave in thy hands. Do as thou wilt.” The young heroine wasn’t nearly as surprised by this as I would be in her shoes. “I thank thee, good aunt.”
Red Cloak showed her successor where all of the kingdom’s treasure was. The new ruler gave her two elder sisters each a bag of treasure to solve their money troubles and set them on the road back home. “Send word should any mischief should befall thee, good sisters.” Falling on their knees and clutching their suddenly powerful and awe-inspiring sister’s legs in gratitude, they thanked her for her bravery and her kindness and then they headed home (with an escort apparently, though the story doesn’t clarify who that escort might be).
The youngest sister became the greatest lady in the land and married Red Jerkin, which seems a tad odd given how upset he was but maybe it was a matter of joining the two ruling lines. It’s possible that his earlier dismay was just about his trickery failing, not about his future bride speaking up first. She’s clearly in charge here just as Red Cloak once was. It’s highly likely that both Red Cloak and her brother Red Jerkin are fairies and that means that the youngest sister has just become one as well. All hail the new queen of the fae who lived happily with her new family from then on, up to the present day. And so with the brave sister still ruling wisely and well over her fae court, it’s time for Gods and Monsters. This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story. This week’s reckless youths are the three girls.
This tale comes from Gypsy Folk Tales, collected by Franci Hindes Groome in 1899 and was originally from the Slovak, Moravian, and Bohemian Romani peoples. Once upon a time in a distant land, there lived a king with his three daughters who were, naturally enough, all princesses. Being wild and reckless young women, the three sisters used to sneak out of the palace at night and vanish into the wilds. They kept their destination and actions secret from their father because what they were doing was cavorting with devils.
Being both a king and a father, the older man didn’t like not knowing, so he did what kings do best: he told someone else to do the work. He had a courtier named Jankos who he trusted with such sensitive matters. In turn, Jankos leaned on a woman named Halenka (who might be a sorceress, a fairy, or an alternate form of Jankos himself) for wisdom and advice. The king summoned Jankos for an audience. “Has anyone seen where my daughters go in the night? No? Then find the fuck out. They’re not home one single night out of the week and their shoes are starting to wear out from all the sneaking.”
Jankos’ plan was to lay down in front of the princesses’ door to make sure he could find out where they went. It’s not subtle but it’s at least simple and direct. He talked it over with Helenka. “If the girls realize that you’re lying in wait for them, they’ll fling you on the fire and prick you with needles. Pretend to be so deeply asleep that you’re practically a corpse and do not stir until they pass.” It was good advice, so Jankos did as she said.
That night, the devils came for the girls as they did every night. The princesses happily went with them to hell as they also did every night. They paid no mind to Jankos as they stepped over his motionless body and headed out, so he was able to secretly follow after. They made their way out of the palace and into the diamond forest. That’s not a metaphor or a clever name – it’s a literal forest made of diamond. He broke off a twig from one of the diamond trees as he went, which made a sharp crack! The three sisters couldn’t miss the unexpected sound and looked back. Jankos had been counting on stealth to keep himself unnoticed, so they saw him as he ducked out of sight. “Is that Jankos following behind us? The devils sneered. “So what if he is? Let him follow.”
They all traveled on and soon came to the glass forest. As he had before, Jankos broke off a glass twig as he went and again his quarry heard him. The devils were still unconcerned about being followed and so they went on to the gold forest. A third time, Jankos broke off a twig as a token and carried it with him and again the three humans and the three devils ignored him. Halenka apparently knows magic because she used her power to turn Jankos into a fly at this point. It’s not clear if she’s been along with Jankos this whole time and it just wasn’t mentioned until now or if she cast the spell earlier and he just triggered it now. Either way, poof, Jankos was a fly. Unseen, he crept under one of the beds that was apparently in whatever hellish place they were all in now. I’m guessing the three princesses assumed they had lost him in the final forest.
Now that they were alone, the devils began to dance with the young women. Being a dance party in hell, this wasn’t normal dancing – they all danced on the blades of literal knives, which explained the fucked up shoes. Once said shoes had been sliced to ragged ribbons, the girls cast them aside, flinging them under the bed where Jankos hid. Somehow, polymorphed fly-Janko took the ravaged shoes as evidence when he returned to the palace. No, I don’t have any idea how that works. Magic, I guess.
As the dancing reached a frenzied crescendo, one of the devils took his dance partner and tossed her roughly onto the bed. Leering lasciviously, the devil climbed onto the bed and they fucked. No foreplay, no romance, just wild abandon. When they finished, the second devil threw his partner onto the bed and followed suit. After another furious coupling, the third devil tried to cast his princess onto the bed, but she refused to yield to his embrace. He was apparently a devil who understood consent, because he accepted her refusal with good grace. Literal denizens of hell are better than a lot of actual real people. Jankos, who had watched two of his liege’s daughters do the dirty deed, decided that he’d seen enough now. Taking the tattered shoes, he snuck back the way he’d come, turned back into a human, and lay down in front of the door again. The plan was to pretend he’d been asleep the whole time despite the fact that they totally saw him following in the diamond forest and that he’d stolen their shoes.
It was after midnight before the three sisters returned to the mortal world. They slipped back into their rooms as though they hadn’t just been getting frisky with devils, but they weren’t fooling Jankos. Once they were back inside, he rose and went immediately to the king. He told the man everything he had seen and showed him the sliced up shoes as proof of his words. Battered shoes aren’t exactly proof of devil sex in hell by themselves, so it was a good thing he’d also brought twigs from impossible trees. “My lord, I know where your daughters go at night – they cavort with devils who take them to hell. I can see that you’re skeptical, but I have proof. See here their ruined shoes and see here twigs taken from diamond, glass, and golden trees along that immortal road. Two of them coupled with the demons who led them astray, but the third resisted. You must go and confront them. Get them to confess to what they have done.”
Infuriated, the king seized his rifle (so I guess this wasn’t as long ago as it initially seemed) and stormed into his daughters’ room. Rather than doing as Janko had advised, the furious king simply shot his daughters dead. The story isn’t clear whether he murdered all three or just the two who gave in to their devils, but it’s pretty awful either way. Well fuck. I did not see that coming – and it’s about to get worse. The king drew a knife, slit open the bellies of his dead daughters, and forced the devils out of their corpses, scattering them. Once this mutilation was complete, he had their bodies buried in consecrated ground at the local church with an altar erected beside each grave. A soldier was assigned to stand guard every night to ensure that they would rest unmolested by devils.
Unfortunately, the soldier was looking the wrong way during his guard duties. That night, the two who had fucked their devils rose from the dead and ripped the guard to bloody shreds. The next night a new guard was assigned to this duty and he too was torn apart. Night after night this continued with the absolutely horrible king continuing to sacrifice his men to a futile cause until over a hundred men had been brutally murdered by the restless corpses of his slain and desecrated daughters. Seriously, fuck that guy.
One night, this cursed duty fell upon a new recruit. He knew good and well that this was a death sentence, but so was disobeying the king. Caught between a rock and a hard place, he forced himself to stand guard but couldn’t keep himself from weeping. In answer to his hopeless prayers, Jankos and a strange little old man came to meet the poor, terrified soldier. According to the story, the old man was secretly God in disguise, presumably the Christian god given everything else in the story. Patting the soldier’s arm compassionately, he gave the young man advice. “When the clock strikes midnight, the slain princesses will rise from their coffins. As soon as they do, jump down into the abandoned grave and lie down in the now-empty coffin. Whatever you do, stay in that coffin and do not leave for any reason. If you do, they will tear you to gory shreds. They won’t make it easy for you. They will beg you to come out and they will threaten you and they may even fling hellfire at you. Do. Not. Leave.”
Trembling like a leaf, the soldier said he would do so. When the clock struck midnight, the women rose from the consecrated soil and stalked the young soldier. Terrified, he kept his wits around him enough to leap down into one of the empty graves and hide there. He cowered there, shivering in terror, as they cajoled and threatened and attacked him. He stayed there all night until finally dawn broke over the world. As the light banished the dark, silence fell over the graveyard. The young soldier climbed slowly out of the grave, wary of a trap.
It was no trap. The two formerly vengeful princess revenants had the blush of life returned to their cheeks and were kneeling at the altars by their graves in prayer. Somehow they were even lovelier now than they had been before they died. The story specified only that the two who slept with their devils returned to life and doesn’t mention the third princess at all. Maybe it’s because she never died or maybe it’s because she wasn’t resurrected since she was never an undead. I hope it’s the former. In a sudden and utterly out of left field development, the young soldier married one of the sisters and Jankos married the other. Their terrible filicidal father was thrilled to see the daughters he had murdered in utter fucking cold blood returned to life. Everyone lived happily ever after (though presumably with some god-tier trauma to work through). I love the phrasing the story uses to end the tale. To quote – “if they are not dead, they are still alive.”
This story is a very interesting one. It’s similar in a lot of ways to the Grimm’s fairy tale The Shoes that were Danced to Pieces as well as the Romanian fairy tale The Slippers of the Twelve Princesses. It has some wild twists and turns and ends in a fairly unsatisfying way. I kind of wish the undead revenant slash vampire princesses had gotten more screen time. They felt very revenge horror film and should have gotten to confront their father rather than a hundred random red shirts. But that’s how the fairy tale cookie crumbles.
That’s it for this episode of Myths Your Teacher Hated. Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on TuneIn, on Vurbl, and on Spotify, or you can follow us on Twitter as @HardcoreMyth, on Instagram as Myths Your Teacher Hated Pod, and on Tumblr as MythsYourTeacherHated. You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com. If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated. The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff.
Next time, we’re headed to the forgotten kingdoms of Armenia for tales of wandering princes and immortal giants. You’ll learn that the best horses are lightning horses, that giants are always creepers, and that princes make effective servants. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that if you dream it, you can achieve it but only after sailing to a lot of strange places first. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.