Episode 94 – The Gambler – Myths Your Teacher Hated

Episode 94 Show Notes

Source: Dine/Navajo Mythology

This week on MYTH, you gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. You’ll see that it’s not cheating if it’s for a good cause, that you shouldn’t bet what you can’t afford to lose, and that it’s good to have animal friends. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover that one-week old babies can do anything they put their minds to. This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. This is Episode 94, “The Gambler”. As always, this episode is not safe for work.
This week’s story comes to us from the 1889 edition of the Journal of American Folklore. It’s a tale told by the Dine, who most people know of as the Navajo of New Mexico. They were given the name Ni-hookaa Diyan Dine, which means Holy Earth People, back at the dawn of time though they refer to themselves as the Dine, or the People. It’s worth noting that the Anasazi people (and their descendants, the Pueblo peoples) predated the Dine in that area by as much as 1300 years. This story deals with the creation of the great pueblo Kintyel, which translates roughly to Broad House, which was already under construction when the Dine arrived.
Long, long ago, a divine gambler named Noqoilpi, or He-Who-Wins-Men (the implication being that he wins them in games of chance and skill) descended from the heavens. His talisman was a great piece of turquoise. When he arrived amongst the Pueblo peoples, he immediately began to challenge people to games and contests. Many people accepted his challenge, and all of them lost. He was absolutely a hustler; he won people’s property first; desperate, they wagered the children, then the women, and then the men to try and get it back, but they just kept losing. Once Noqoilpi had won pretty much everything, he offered to give them some of their property back if they built him a great house. They didn’t really have a better choice, so they got to work. When the Dine showed up, the Pueblo peoples were hard at work paying off their debt. In addition to the great house, they were also busily building a race track and fields for the gambler’s favorite games.
When all was ready, four days’ notice was given to the surrounding people (four being a sacred number to the Dine) as was proper. Twelve men came from the neighboring pueblo of Kincolij (or Blue House) to compete with the reigning champ. They bet their freedom and, of course, lost. Another four-day notice was given and twelve more men (all relatives of the previous twelve) came to try and win them back. They also lost themselves. A third announcement was given and twelve more people came, including some women since so many of the men were already prizes of the gambling god. You can probably guess what happened – yup, they lost and also became prizes. All were put to work on the construction of Kintyel. Another four days went by with another announcement, and this time the children of those who had already lost showed up to try to win their parents’ freedom. It did not go well. Obviously.
Things were going very badly for Kincolij, so the fifth group of twelve to show up were the leading men of the pueblo, including the chief. They too lost and were put to work. Twelve more of the most important men of the pueblo came after the sixth notice to try to win their chief’s freedom and only succeeded in adding themselves to the indentured workforce. Another gambling day was announced, and this time people showed up from all of the surrounding pueblos, not just Kincolij; the players came in such numbers that the Dine were no longer able to keep count. The contenders brought beads, shells, turquoise, and all sorts of other valuables to play with, but they too all ended up losing everything, betting themselves, and losing again. Noqoilpi put them all to work on his great pueblo and arena of games. With so many laborers, it didn’t take long to finish it all.
During all of this so far, the Dine had remained spectators only, taking no part in the games (especially after seeing so many skilled players lose to the gambling god). One day, the voice of Qastceyalci, likely one of the many names of The Talking God, could be heard faintly in the distance making his usual strange cry of ‘hu hu hu hu”. The Talking God is a fascinating figure. He’s one of the Yeibichai, the supernatural beings who created the Dine and taught them how to live. He’s also one of the most compassionate gods, frequently advocating for humanity against other supernatural entities taking advantage of them. Such as, for instance, Noqoilpi. As always, his voice was heard four times, nearer and nearer each time.
As soon as the fourth call was heard, Qastceyalci appeared at the door of a hut where a young couple lived. Using signs (as was his typical way), he told them about what had happened to the people of Kincolij and, perhaps more importantly, the two great shells they had lost to Noqoilpi. These were the greatest treasures of the pueblo peoples; the Sun had longed for these shells and had begged the gambling god for them, but had been refused, making the Sun very angry. As a result of this whole affair, Qastceyalci told them that several supernatural entities were heading to a designated spot in the mountains to hold a great ceremony. Qastceyalci invited the young man to this ceremony and then vanished.
The young Dine man went to the place in the mountains on the twelfth day and found a great assembly of gods as he had been promised. Qastceyalci was there, as was Qastceqogan and his son, Niltic the Wind, Tcalyel the Darkness, Tcaapani the Bat, Klictso the Great Snake, a little bird Tsilkali, Nasisi the Gopher, and many others whose names were not marked. Along with the gods and spirits were many of the domesticated animals and pets of the gambling god. They were dissatisfied with their lot in life and anxious to be free. If they achieved that goal, they would be happy to share their master’s spoils.
Niltci the Wind had spoken to them before the meeting and they had agreed to join the plot against Noqoilpi. The gods sang and danced all night long, performing mystic rites to give the son of Qastceqogan gambling powers equal to those of Noqoilpi. The gambling god never lost, so a little magic was needed to tip the balance the other way. When the sun rose in the morning, they washed the young god, dried him with corn meal, and dressed him up to look as much like Noqoilpi as possible. Once he was the spitting image of the gambling god, they counseled him on how he could outwit Noqoilpi in the coming games.
The assembled gods needed some intel before they did anything – namely, they wanted to know how Noqoilpi felt about refusing his father the Sun the two great shells. Niltci the Wind offered to find out. “I can do this. I can penetrate anywhere I want and no one can see me.” The others disagreed, arguing that sure, the wind could go everywhere, but he always made a noise and disturbed people. It would be better to let Tcalyel the Darkness go instead. He could also go anywhere at all, but he did so silently.
Thus decided, Tcalyel ghosted into the gambler’s house, made his way into the sleeping god’s room, and infiltrated his dreams Inception style. He searched Noqoilpi’s mind and returned with interesting information: the gambling god regretted not having made a gift of the two shells to his father the Sun. Niltci was the only one there not convinced. He didn’t trust that sneaky Darkness to have done a proper job and so, even though everyone had told him not to, he too went to Noqoilpi’s home while the god slept and ransacked his mind. Sheepishly, he was forced to return and admit that Tcalyel had gotten it right – the gambler was sorry.
That was all well and good, but the imposter gambler still needed some clever tricks to beat Noqoilpi at his own game. Or rather, games. The first one they proposed to fix was called caka-cqadsac or 13 chips. As the name implies, it is played with 13 flat pieces of wood, painted red on one side and either white or unpainted on the other. The chips would be thrown into the air, with the winner being determined by the number that fell white side up. Tcaapani the Bat volunteered for this game. The plan was for him to hide in the ceiling with 13 chips painted white on both sides and, when their champion threw his chips up, Bat would snatch them out of the air and drop the fakes, guaranteeing victory.
Next up was nanjoj, a game played with two long sticks (one painted red and the other black) and a hoop. A long string with many tails called a ‘turkey-claw’ was fastened to each pole. The object of nanjoj was to throw the hoop and have it land over your pole rather than your opponent’s. Klictso the Great Snake took this game, offering to hide in the hoop to control where it fell.
Tsinbetsil or push-on-the-wood was a game where players pushed on a tree until it fell over. Which is less of a game and more of a contest of strength, but whatever floats your boat, I guess. Nasisi the Gopher took this one, vowing to gnaw the root’s of their boy’s tree to make it fall over easier. The next game on the docket was tcol, which means ball and sounds like the most generic game ever. The object of ball was to hit a ball beyond a marked line. So yeah, exactly what you’d expect from a game called ‘ball’. Tsikali the little bird figured he could win ball by hiding in said ball and flying it where it needed to go. He did make the imposter gambler vow to hit the ball very gently and trust Tsikali to handle it which – fair.
All of the games were now effectively rigged, so it was time to put the plan into action. Noqoilpi’s animals begged Wind to blow extra fucking hard so that they would have an excuse to not keep watch. That way, if things went pear-shaped, they could explain why they hadn’t warned their owner that he was in danger. At dawn, the conspirators left the mountain and went down to the canyon to watch the sunrise. As agreed, Wind blew up a damned gale that morning, sending the animals running for shelter as the conspirators set themselves up.
Noqoilpi had two wives, who were widely considered to be the prettiest women in the whole land. Each carried a stick with something tied to the end whenever she went out as a sign that she was the wife of the great gambler. It was their custom for one of them to go out at dawn each morning to a nearby spring for the day’s water. Everyone knew about this habit, so the conspirators were watching from the cliff when the gambler’s wife came out of his house with the water jar on her head. The son of Qasteqogan, dressed as the gambling god, descended into the canyon behind her and followed her to the spring. She had no idea she was being followed, preoccupied with the task of fetching water. When she finally noticed the young man, she didn’t realize that he wasn’t, in fact, her husband. To be fair, he had all kinds of magic help to pull off the disguise and it’s not like she expected someone to be impersonating him so she let him approach.
When he drew close, she did realize her mistake because a disguise is only so good against a spouse but she’d already called him Noqoilpi and it would have been awkward to admit she’d made a mistake. Thus, thanks to social awkwardness, the wife let the fake Noqoilpi follow her into the house. Besides, the real Noqoilpi was there and it could be his problem to deal with, what with being a god and all.
The young man entered the house and noticed that a large number of slaves had already assembled, perhaps sensing that something nasty was in store for the gambler who had won them in his games. For his part, Noqoilpi was quite annoyed to see a stranger enter his house with his wife. The intruder was a handsome young man and the gambler was jealous that he seemed to be with his wife. When he noticed that the stranger was dressed like himself, he was more confused than angry. He decided to let all of this slide, asking the one and only important question: “Are you here to gamble with me?”
You and I know that the answer was of course ‘yes’, but the clever young man had walked in here with a plan and answered ‘no’. Four times Noqoilpi asked the question and each time the stranger denied it. The gambling god was more than a touch arrogant as shit, and so he assumed that this odd stranger was just afraid to game with him, so his challenges quickly grew reckless. He bet his feet against the stranger’s feet, then his legs against the stranger’s legs and so on, until he had bet everything including his hair. While the two were steadily upping the stakes, the watching gods headed down from the canyon. People from the neighboring pueblos saw the commotion beginning and headed out to see what was going on. Two boys dressed up to look like Noqoilpi’s wives slipped in amongst the gathering crowd.
The imposter gambler spotted them and pointed them out to his opponent, claiming they were his wives (and the two were pretty enough to pull it off). Qastceqogan’s son bet his fake wives against Noqoilpi’s real wives. The gambler, arrogant as shit (and with good reason given his history), agreed to these increased terms. The four people sat in a row near the wall to watch as the first game was played. The thirteen chips were thrown into the air and, as planned, Bat swooped down and switched them out, ensuring victory for the challenger. Grumbling, Noqoilpi was forced to give his wives to the victor.
The rest of the games were played outside, so they all headed out. The track was set up for nanjoj, laid out east to west. The Wind whispered that they needed it laid out north to south instead and that he should choose the red stick, so the fake gambler did. Qastceqogan’s son hurled the wheel, but his throw was off. It was clearly headed directly for his opponent’s pole but, just as it was about to land in the turkey claw, the wheel wobbled itself free and rolled over to the other pole. The challenger hurried over to claim the wheel and free the Snake hidden inside before Noqoilpi could hurt him by accident. It proved to be a moot point since the gambler was such a poor fucking loser that he hurled his stick away in a rage, forfeiting the game.
Noqoilpi stalked over to the trees that were to be pushed over in the next contest, hoping to use his burning anger to achieve victory. He wasn’t used to losing, like, ever. He didn’t like it. The gambler picked two small trees for the game, but the challenger insisted that they needed to do this thing right. He indicated a pair of massive trees, forcing the petulant gambler to accept the ridiculous challenge or be shown up by this scrawny stranger. Of course, you and I already know that he’s cheating. Noqoilpi pushed and pushed and pushed on his tree, but it refused to budge, because of course it did. Have you ever tried to push down a tree? It’s fucking hard to do. The imposter gambler went to the tree whispered to him by the Wind and with an almost casual shove, knocked it over thanks to the work of the industrious Gopher.
More games went by in this way, with Qasteqogan’s son cheating his ass off and the gambling god losing his wealth of shells, his precious stones, his houses (plural) and many of the slaves he had won in previous games. As it became clear that he was on a losing streak, many of those assembled wagered themselves against their relatives on the outcome of the games and, of course, won alongside the cheating stranger. The last game of the day was ball. Everyone gathered at the line that was to be the target – those who were still enslaved to the gambler on one side and their families who had wagered themselves for their freedom on the other. Noqoilpi bet all of his remaining slaves and his own person on this game, desperate to salvage some of his formerly great wealth that he had lost today. The stranger matched his wager. Like the song says, you gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em. This gambler didn’t.
Noqoilpi stood over the ball and, with all the strength he could muster, whacked the ever-loving shit out of that ball. It was a mighty hit, but it was not enough to drive the ball over the distant line. The imposter strode up and tapped his ball ever-so-lightly but, thanks to the Bird hidden inside, it flew impossibly far and easily cleared the goal line, releasing the last of the captives and ending the gambler’s reign of terror.
The victor ordered his winnings brought out immediately. The former captives raced joyously into the waiting arms of their relieved families, and the shells and precious stones were given to Qasteyalci to be distributed amongst the gods. The two great shells that had started this whole ordeal were given to the Sun as they should have been in the first place. During all of this, Noqoilpi sat off to the side cursing, bemoaning his wretched luck, and threatening his many enemies by turn. “I’ll kill you! I’ll fry your asses with lightning! I’ll send war and disease to your homes, I’ll freeze you with bitter cold, I’ll roast you with raging fire! I’ll drown you in the rising river! You’ll regret this – you’ll all regret this, I promise you!” For the record, being this sort of extremely sore loser was considered incredibly insulting to the Dine. Anyone who whined like a petulant child after a loss the way the gambling god was would have been held in utter contempt, and yes that includes this obnoxious god as well.
This was allowed to go on for a little bit but, when it became clear that the gambler wasn’t going to stop whining, Niltci whispered to the son of Qastceqogan “He has cursed enough – it’s time to put an end to his angry words.” The victorious challenger called the sore loser over to him to put him in his place. “Alright, listen up. You bet everything you had, including yourself, and you lost. As you enslaved all of these people, you are now my slave and must do my bidding. You are no longer a god; I have beaten you and my power is greater. Come on. You’re not going to like this.” He drew Eḉin C-ilyil, the magical Bow of Darkness, and pointed it towards the sky. Drawing back the bowstring, he made the former gambling god stand on it and then fired him like an arrow away from the pueblo, which is a pretty amusing image. He flew up and up and up until he was just a tiny speck and then he disappeared into the sky altogether. As he went, he could be heard shouting more insults and curses, but his voice faded as he did and was eventually gone.
What goes up must come down – unless it hits escape velocity and leaves the planet entirely, and that’s exactly what happened to Noqoilpi. He flew all the way to the home of Bekotsidi, the god who carries the moon and is said to have created all of the domestic animals and, possibly, the white Christian colonizers of Mexico they encountered. When the Dine encountered the colonizers, they had settled in villages with lots of domestic animals so, when they told stories of their Chrsitian god, the Dine decided that this god must be the old man in the sky who carries the moon. I can see the logic, honestly. Anyway, Bekotsidi, who lives in the sky in his long row of stone houses, listened politely as Noqoilpi related his misadventures in the world below, complaining that he had once been rich but now was utterly broke. The old man of the moon nodded sagely and promised to provide for the destitute gambler.
Thus, Bekotsidi made sheep, donkeys, horses, pigs, goats, and chickens for the former gambler as well as brightly colored bayeta, a red woolen flannel that was more beautiful than anything he’d had below. The old man of the moon also made a new people, the Mexicans (who in this case refers to the descendents of the Spanish), for the gambler to rule over and sent them all back to earth, far to the south of Kintyeli, in Mexico of course. Also of course, the gambler couldn’t be happy with his new home and he and his people kept pushing north, building towns along the Rio Grande, though they stopped somewhere around what would become Santa Fe. Once a sore loser, always a sore loser. The gambler, he broke even, which means it’s time for Gods and Monsters. This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story. This week’s goddess is Changing Woman.
There are a few different versions of the story of Asdzaa Naadleehi, or Changing Woman. She is sort of a personification of the earth and the natural order of the world, although it’s more complicated than that as well. One of the simpler stories has Changing Woman as a creator figure and the first leader of the Dine. In this version, when she reached puberty and had her first menstrual cycle, the Holy People each brought her a white shell, which was considered precious. Changing Woman was dressed in white buckskin with the shells added to her dress, glowing with such beauty that she was given the name Yooglai Asdzaa, or White Shell Woman.
Another version has her as the child of Atse Hastiin and Atse Asdzaan, or First Man and First Woman, though other stories say her parents are the Sky and the Earth. Since Sky is sometimes referred to as Boy and Earth as Girl, this may be different ways of saying the same thing. Anyway, the people who have entered into the Fifth World (our world) are terrorized by monsters, so that only First Woman and First Man, an old couple long past childbearing years survived (though in some versions, they do also have two young children). For four days, a dark cloud covered the sacred mountain Ch’oolii, slowly creeping down from the peak towards the base. This was very strange, so First Man set out to investigate, singing an optimistic song to keep his spirits up.
He climbed up the tall mountain until, as he neared the peak, he saw a flash of lightning followed by the brilliant arc of a rainbow, which showered him in scintillating colors. He heard a baby crying at his feet and looked down. To his surprise, it was a carved turquoise figure of a fully-grown woman but the size of a newborn baby. He wasn’t sure what to do with this strange happening, so he did the only thing he could think of – he brought it to First Woman, who decided to raise her as their daughter. This proved surprisingly easy since she grew from an infant to puberty in only four days, or to adulthood in 14 days in other versions, which is why she was called Changing Woman. She was brought back to Ch’oolii for a ceremony around her passage to adulthood, where Nilchi the Wind transformed her into a living deity.
She was dressed in white shell, turquoise, abalone, and jet fastened to her dress then blessed with pollen from the dawn and the twilight, symbolizing her control over these things. In some versions, she is given the name White Shell Woman as a result of this; in others, White Shell Woman is her sister, who is also transformed by the wind at this ceremony. Going forward, we’re going to stick with the two as sisters, but understand that they are just as often considered the same person.
The two sisters were close, but they were also the only people their age and so they were lonely. They went out exploring together and, on one particular day, they headed up onto a mountain. While there, they each found themselves drawn to specific, unusual things and, with nothing better to do, decided to explore these feelings. Thus, Changing Woman lay on a rock with her feet facing towards the east and her legs spread comfortably apart, basking in the rays of the Sun. White Shell Woman lounged in a shallow pool, letting the water flow all around her. Both lay in their respective spots for four days. As is often the case in these sorts of stories, both the rays of the sun and the flow of the water are metaphors for sex and semen, so it should come as no surprise that, four days later, both woman discovered that they were pregnant.
Lucky for them, they moved through pregnancy as quickly as they did every other natural cycle and each gave birth to a son in another four days. First Woman and First Man rejoiced in the births, and the two boys were placed in traditional cradleboards built by First Man. The two boys (who are twins in the version where the two sisters are the same woman) were named Naayee’neizghani and Tobajishcini, or Slayer of Monsters and Born for Water. Like their mothers, the two boys grew in four-day periods, growing to adulthood in 14 to 32 days depending on the version. The hero twins would go on to rid the world of the monsters who had been such a problem in the early days, but that’s another story.
After the boys left home, the Sun asked Changing Woman to come live with him in the West. She considered his offer, but asked him to build her a special house first. He asked her why he should do such a thing, and her answer encapsulates a great deal of the spiritual nature of man and woman in the Dine. “I will tell you why. Because you are male and I am female and because you are of Sky and I am of Earth. You are constant in your shining brightness, but I must change as the seasons do. You soar along the edge of the heavens, but I must remain rooted to the earth. As different as we are, you and I, we are of one spirit and, though we are different, we are of equal worth. There can be no harmony in the universe if there is no harmony between us.”
The Sun is satisfied by this argument and she goes into the West with him. There, she finds four mountains, reflections of the four mountains in Hajiinei, the Emergence Place. She dances across the tops of these peaks and then sits down to rest. She rubs at her skin, removing a layer from different parts of her body (the specifics vary but are often her chest, her back, and under both arms representing the four cardinal directions), which transform into the people who made up the original four clans of the Dine: Kinyaa’aanii (Towering House Clan), Honaghaahnii (One Walks Around You Clan), Todich’ii’nii (Bitter Water Clan), and Hashtl’ishnii (Mud Clan).
The Dine were ready to go back to the East, but Changing Woman told them that she could not go with them but would give them what they needed for their journey. She gave them the prayers and songs and taught them the protection of the rainbow. The Mud People Clan were given a cane made of black jet, allowing them to become skilled, creative people and gave them the porcupine as their symbol. During the journey, they ran out of water and so drove the cane into the earth, causing water to gush forth and giving them their name.
The Towering House Clan was given a cane made of white shell, allowing them to become leaders, guides, and teachers and gave them the bear as their symbol. When the clans were looking for water, the keeper of the white shell cane grew frustrated at not finding any and threw it at the canyon wall. Those who saw him standing there mistook the wall for a house, giving them their name. The One Walks Around You Clan was given a turquoise cane, allowing them to become healers and medicine men and women and gave them the mountain lion as their symbol. The name likely came from the custom of leaving one warrior to walk around on patrol at night while the others slept. The Bitter Water Clan was given a cane made of abalone shell, allowing them to become philosophers and educators and were given the bullsnake or the wolf as their symbol. The name is said to come from the bitter water that sprang from a hole dug by them during the journey. Many, many more clans exist now, but all originally sprung from these four.
That’s it for this episode of Myths Your Teacher Hated. Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on Stitcher, on TuneIn, on Vurbl, and on Spotify, or you can follow us on Twitter as @HardcoreMyth and on Instagram as Myths Your Teacher Hated Pod. You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com. If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated. The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff.
Next time, we’re headed off to the mountains of Romania for a story that doesn’t involve Dracula or vampires in the slightest. You’ll see that you should keep an eye on your leftovers, that it’s a bad idea to lie to your kids, and that not all witches are obvious but some definitely are. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’re going to try to resist the siren song of the voice of death. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.