Episode 39G – There’s No Place Like Home

Episode 39G Show Notes

Source: French Folklore

This week on MYTH, Belle’s spending the summer in the big city. This is the seventh episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast. You’ll see that you can totally go home again, that sibling rivalry never dies, and that young, pretty men are assholes. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the black cat who’ll either kill you or make you rich. This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. This is Episode 39G, “There’s No Place Like Home”. As always, this episode is not safe for work.
When we last left our story, we met a rich merchant in a city in France whose wife had probably died, but not before having six sons and six daughters with him. Things had gone pretty well until an unlucky fire had burned everything the merchant had owned, and a series of accidents on the high seas had destroyed his business dealings. Broke and bereft, he was forced to move his family out to a tiny cottage several hundred miles away from the city that he had managed to hang on to by his fingernails. The dozen children had settled into their new routine of being poor and abandoned by everyone who had previously wanted to either flirt, befriend, or fuck them, although all but the youngest had done so with bad grace. That young woman, nicknamed Belle (or Beauty) because of her incredible looks and even better personality, had been the only one to try and make the best of the situation. Two years into this Purgatory, a message had come that one ship full of goods had arrived at port unexpectedly. The merchant had rushed off to the city to try and get some of his previously vast wealth back, but he was cheated out of everything by his former partners and found himself having to head back in defeat six months later only to get lost in a blizzard. He wandered into a magical seeming castle full of weird shit but no people and, for reasons unknown, decided that fate wanted him to have it. He had plucked a rose for his beloved Belle, the only thing she had asked for while he was gone, only to be confronted by a horrible, hideous beast enraged at the merchant for ripping him off. The Beast demanded the merchant’s life, but offered to take one of his daughters in his stead, but only if she came to the castle willingly and in full knowledge of what awaited her. He warned the merchant that if he tried to flee or break the bargain, the Beast would hunt down everyone he ever loved. Then, he sent the man home for a month to say his goodbyes. When his children learn what happened, the sons offer to fight the Beast, and the daughters offer up Belle as a sacrifice. The merchant doesn’t want to accept this bargain, but Belle is insistent. At the end of the allotted month, the Beast’s horse arrived as promised to take them back to the castle and their certain doom. We then took a detour out to a neighboring kingdom to meet a Prince who’s father had been killed around the time he was born. A neighboring king decided that a widowed single mother with a newborn infant would make an easy target and invaded, forcing the Queen to ride off into battle with her army. Before leaving, she entrusted her son to the care of an old, ugly, mean-spirited but very powerful fairy to raise until the war was over. This she did for around 15 years, during which time she went all creeptown on the Prince and decided that she wanted to be his wife instead of his mother and began pressuring him to marry her. They rode out together to meet the Queen, since the Prince insisted he couldn’t wed without his mother’s blessing, and he took up arms for the final battle of the war. Victory achieved (although with the villain still alive against the advice of the Queen’s generals because she feared for the safety of her son), they began the long ride back home. Once there, the Fairy almost immediately tells the Queen of her desire to marry the Prince. The Queen, quite reasonably, is horrified by the idea and, exhausted from nearly two decades in the field, she tells the Fairy exactly what she thinks. The Fairy doesn’t take rejection well, and vows vengeance, leaving the mother and son writhing in pain on the palace floor. Back at the Beast’s castle, Belle and her father finally arrive to a huge celebration, with music and fireworks, much to their surprise. The Beast is polite about receiving his victim and offers her father two trunks full of whatever treasure he likes from the closet in payment for his daughter. He can’t exactly refuse, and so on Belle’s advice, he fills them up with gold, jewels, and dresses for his other daughters with the intention of keeping his new wealth secret from his children to keep them from getting greedy. They share one last meal together and, in the morning, the merchant rides off on the magical horse once more leaving Belle alone and in the clutches of a horrid monster. Belle takes a depression nap and meets a sweet, handsome, sexy man in her dreams who sweeps her off her feet. She wakes up and puts her dream lover out of her brain to go explore her prison. While wandering, she finds several portraits of the man from her dreams, and she decides that he must be a real person also kept prisoner by the Beast. At dinner, the Beast asks Belle to fuck him, she says no, and they both go to bed (where she spends more time with her dream Prince, who turns out to be the Prince from our aside, being punished by the wicked Fairy). She discovers wonders in the palace, including birds that sing opera and monkeys that perform theater. Days pass, weeks, and Belle explores more of the castle, discovering secret rooms with magical mirrors that let her spy on things happening far from the castle. She has more conversations with her dream lover and debates letting the Beast have sex with her just to get it over with. As he always does, her Prince just asks for her to help him escape his prison and the Beast. She has a nightmare of the Beast and the Prince fighting to the death, wrestling over control of a throne, but she doesn’t understand it. She finally got up the nerve to ask the Beast whether there were any other people in the castle,and he tells her no, so she now knows that the Prince is being imprisoned on the grounds outside of the castle somewhere. The thought of this place becoming her tomb depresses her. When her Prince finds her that night, she is weeping, and he asks her what’s wrong, did the Beast do something? He swears to kill the creature. A dagger appeared in his hand and the Beast appeared before him, offering no resistance as the Prince begins to stab him over and over and over again. Belle intervenes, begging the Prince to spare the Beast, which angers the human. He declares that she must not really love him before the whole scene dissolved. The loneliness is starting to make her physically ill, and even the stupid Beast notices how shitty she looks. He asks her what would make her feel better, and she says she misses her family and would like to see them again. The Beast flies into a bitter rage at her words.
Belle was convinced she was going to die right here and now, but she maintained her composure. “Beast, I do not dislike you in the least and, surprisingly, I would be upset if I was never able to see you again. None of that means that I don’t miss my family, though. It’s very lonely here. If you could let me go home for just two months, I promise that I will return on my own and joyfully live out the rest of my days here with you and never ask to leave again. Please?”
Beast was still lying on the ground, curled up into an ugly ball. Only his rattling, mournful sighs gave any evidence that he hadn’t died of heartache right there on the spot. “I can deny you nothing, Belle, even if it costs me my life. Go. In the room beside your bedroom, you will find four chests. Fill them with whatever you want to bring for yourself or your family. Two months, Belle. If you do not return at the end of two months, I promise you that you will find only my miserable corpse waiting for you.” He pulled a ring out of his pocket and handed it to her. “You won’t need a horse or carriage to return. If you return. Just say goodbye to your family the night before. When you get in bed, turn the stone in towards your palm and say ‘I want to return to the palace and see my Beast again.’ Good night, Belle. You will see your father early tomorrow morning. Go. Go now.”
Belle made her way out of the dining room with awkward, hesitant steps. This was incredible! In her wildest dreams, she had never imagined that she would actually be able to see her family ever again, yet the Beast had again surprised her. Once she was out of the Beast’s sight, she rushed to fill the chests with every treasure she thought anyone might like. They didn’t seem to get full, no matter how much she put in them, until she ran out of things she wanted to bring. She no longer wondered at such miracles. They were commonplace here.
She tried to sleep, but she was as excited as a kid on Christmas, and had just as much trouble sleeping. She was seeing her family tomorrow! It was nearly dawn before she finally drifted off into an exhausted slumber. She dreamed her usual dream, and saw her Prince as she had every night, but something was different. Instead of standing before her, he was lying on a bed of grass, sick and pale looking. She rushed to his side, worried about him. “What’s wrong, my love? Why do you look so awful?”
The look he gave her in response was full of scorn and malice that she was sure she didn’t deserve. “Can you really ask me such a stupid question, you heartless girl? Your presence here is the only thing keeping me alive. When you leave, I will surely die.” “Don’t be silly, sir! I won’t be gone long. Two months out of forever isn’t long at all! I just want to see my family one more time and set their minds at ease. I’m sure my father must be wracked with guilt about abandoning me to the awful fate we thought waited for me here, and I need to let him know that I am alive and well. Happy, even. Mostly. Once I know they’re okay, I’ll come back and I’ll never be apart from you again, my prince! Besides, I’ve already sworn to the Beast that I will return, and I won’t break my promise. There’s no reason that we have to be apart, though. Come with me, my love. Be my escort on the journey. I’m sure I can talk the Beast into letting you come with me, and my father would be delighted to meet you.”
“I can’t, Belle, unless you agreed to leave this place and never return, breaking your oath to the Beast. That’s the only way I can be free of my captivity here. Think it over before you decide. Unlike your father, this place will not harm you if you decide to leave. The Beast will not come for you, will not kill your family and friends. Nothing at all will happen, except that you will have hurt the Beast’s feelings.”
Belle gasped, one hand covering her mouth. “I can’t do that, my prince: the Beast told me that if I didn’t come back to the castle, he would die!” The Prince shrugged. “So what? Fuck him. What does it matter to you if he lives or dies? Isn’t getting everything that you want at the cost of one dead monster a bargain? He’s a blight on the world, of no use to anyone except to cause horror in anyone and anything that is forced to behold him. The world would be better off without the fucking Beast in it!”
Belle’s cheeks grew flushed with anger. “You’re being such an asshole! I would die to save the Beast’s life, alright? He may be a monster on the outside, but he’s a good man on the inside! He’s stupid, but he’s sweet and gentle and kind and he doesn’t deserve to suffer because of the way he looks. He has been nothing but gracious to me, and I’d have to be a real bitch to pay that kindness back by abandoning him to his death!”
The Prince stared at her silently for a long moment, the air tense and brittle. “What would you do, my love, if the Beast were to try and kill me? There’s nothing to stop him from trying, after all. If he attacked me, and we fought to the death, who would you try and help? Who would you save, Belle?” Hot tears welled in Belle’s eyes. “Why are you being so cruel? You know that I love you and only you, but that doesn’t mean that I hate the Beast! I owe him a debt of gratitude for the kind way he has treated me the whole time I’ve been here. And if you were to fight each other to the death? I would try and save both of you by taking my own life. I think both of you would stop your stupid macho posturing if I were dying. Besides, that’s a ridiculous hypothetical. What’s the point? It’s too upsetting to think about. Can’t we talk about something else?”
Rather than wait for his answer (which she feared would be cruel given how he had been lately), she began to talk at him, saying everything she thought a young woman should say to her beloved. Since this was a dream, she was more comfortable here, and less worried about the social protocols and rules, so she was her true, gentle self. If she had been awake, it’s unlikely she would have been so open and forthcoming with this strange, beautiful man that she loved.
She slept a long time, and when she awoke, she feared that the Beast had changed his mind and would not be letting her go home today after all. Not far away, Belle heard a voice. A human voice, one she recognized. She threw back the bed curtain and was less surprised than she could have been that she was not in the same room she had been in when she fell asleep the night before. She was fairly certain she had never seen this room though. It didn’t seem like the palace anymore; the furniture was not nearly grand enough.
She rose and hurried to the bedroom door. She didn’t recognize the next room either, but she did see something familiar in it: the four chests she had filled the previous night. They clearly had been sent along with her to wherever it was she had found herself, but where was that? She heard that voice again, her father’s voice, and she realized she didn’t care where she was: she was with her family. She threw open another door and rushed to sweep her shocked father into a bear hug. Her brothers and sisters stared at Belle like they’d seen a ghost (which, for all that they knew, was exactly what was happening here since Belle was thought to be long dead). Everyone swarmed in for a group hug, although the jealousy in her sisters’ hearts was rekindled by her reappearance, because they’re truly terrible human beings.
After everyone had gotten as many tearful embraces as they wanted, the merchant pulled his daughter aside for a private conversation. He asked her how she had come here and he told her how everyone was doing, and how the fortune she’d sent home with him was faring (as well as letting her know that a huge share of that was hers by right now that she was home again).
On the day he had left her with the Beast, he had spent the trip home figuring out how to hide the trunks from his remaining children. He had wished that it were possible to have the trunks delivered into a closet in his bedroom with a sturdy lock and only one key, but he didn’t know of any way of making this happen. By the time he arrived, he still hadn’t decided on a plan, but it turned out to be irrelevant. As soon as he dismounted from his horse, he saw that the second had already vanished with the trunks. He was a little frustrated about the missing treasure, but truth be told he hadn’t really had it long enough for it to really feel like his, so he didn’t miss it much. What did upset him, though, was the thought that this petty cruelty foretold much pain and suffering in store for the beloved daughter he had abandoned with a monster.
“Everyone gathered around to hear how things had gone, but I told everyone I was too tired and went straight to bed. I wasn’t, but I didn’t want to let them watch me weep and wail over your fate. I was thoroughly surprised, therefore, to find the trunks sitting in my bedroom closet. A lock hung on the door with a key inside. This gave me hope. If he had kept his promise to me, maybe his surprisingly gentle treatment of you would last. I mentally apologized to him for all of the nasty, unfair things I had said about him. It turned out that the Beast was honorable after all.
“As we discussed, I didn’t tell the others just how wealthy we are now, though I did show them a few of the least valuable jewels. I pretended to sell them so that they wouldn’t question where my money came from, and I used it to buy some things to make our lives a little easier. We have servants to do the hard work that we had been doing for ourselves, but we still live a quiet, independent life, free from the corruption of the city. In this relatively humble house in the country, I don’t draw the envy and jealousy of those around me, and they let me live my life in peace. Several of your sisters have had marriage proposals now that we’re not destitute, and now that you’re home, you and I can work out how much of a dowry to give each of them. With those harpies out of our hair, we can live here with your brothers, who’s sorrow at your loss was not assuaged by the gifts you sent, or if you prefer, you and I can get our own little house to live in together.”
Belle was deeply touched by her father’s love, and by that of her brothers. “You don’t know how much that means to me, Father, but I can’t. I’m not home to stay. I wanted you to know that I was alive and well, but I promised the Beast that I would return.” The merchant was crestfallen at losing the dream of spending his golden years with his beloved daughter, but now that he knew she was safe, he didn’t try to talk her out of fulfilling her promise. He knew how important her word was to her, and he respected the Beast’s honor enough to trust her with him now.
She filled him in on everything that had happened since he left, and of the pleasant, magical life she now led. She showed him the trunks she had brought with her, and he was delighted to realize that he could split up the vast wealth he had brought home amongst his daughters and keep he and his sons living in comfort off of what Belle had brought. Once again, Belle and the Beast had taken care of this family.
“This is an incredible gift, Belle. We misjudged the Beast, me more so than you, I think. He is a truly honorable and worthy soul trapped in an unfortunate body. I know you’re probably not thinking much about your future right now, but if you want my advice, my daughter, I think you should marry the Beast.” He went on at length about the Beast’s gentle soul and admirable qualities. “Your dreams have told you over and over that you can find happiness in gratitude. I think you should listen. He’s ugly, but good and honest and you know he loves you. I wouldn’t normally advise my virgin daughter to let a man she hadn’t married to sleep with her, but I think you should tell him yes the next time he asks. Lock that shit down!”
Belle admitted that her father made some very good points. There were a lot of women married to brutes, true, violent monsters in all but appearance, so marrying someone kind and gentle, but hideous wasn’t a bad deal; it was better than a lot of women got. Still, she just couldn’t bring herself to agree. The Prince’s beautiful face floated in her mind, and she loved him so, though she had met him only in her dreams. How could she give him up for the Beast?
“Father, I can’t. It’s not just that he’s ugly, although that’s definitely part of it. He’s also an idiot! I could look passed his form if I could at least carry on an intelligent conversation with him, but he’s so very dull. Our dinners every night are exactly the same. Even the parrots have started to repeat his phrases over and over, and it’s maddening. Vowing to be only with him forever, stuck in the castle together all day every day without even brief times apart to make the heart grow fonder? I just can’t. Yes, he gave you money, of which he has no need and more than any person could spend in a lifetime, and he let me come home one time after vowing to never, ever leave again. Is that really love? Am I supposed to love that?”
Honestly, I think I’m on Belle’s side here. She doesn’t owe him sex or marriage just because he’s nice to her. Her father, much to his chagrin, also found himself swayed by Belle’s speech. He had trouble believing that the Beast was really as dumb as she said, because apparently being kind means you have to be smart too. He wondered if she would have been more willing to listen to his advice if she weren’t being visited by her dream lover, because who could love a monster when the other option was a literal man of your dreams?
It was already late, and she was exhausted from the day’s excitement, so she was glad when her father left her alone to retire. She loved her family and was overjoyed to see them, but she kind of missed the quiet and solitude of the castle. Besides, night time brought her time with her Prince, and she looked forward to her visit with him. She dropped off to sleep easily enough, but even though her mind took her to all of the familiar places they wandered together on the castle grounds, she didn’t see her Prince’s familiar, handsome face. She woke several times during the night, and each time, she stilled her mind and drifted back off to sleep to see her lover. She never did. She could not find the peace she had known at the palace, only anxiety and loneliness.
Her father left his country home to go and facilitate the marriages of his daughters. He rented a place in the city, and his newfound wealth attracted a lot of new friends or, more accurately, acquaintances who liked rich friends. He wasn’t shy about mentioning that his youngest daughter had returned to visit, and many remembered her beauty and gentleness and begged the merchant to bring her for a visit. She obliged, wanting to spend time with her father during the allotted month, and everyone soon agreed that she was even more beautiful and fascinating than before. Everyone loved her, including the men who had supposedly been in love with her sisters (although they made absolutely no excuse for their jackassery and douchebagginess). Belle, on the other hand, was utterly uninterested in any of them. She did everything she could to try and convince them that it was never going to happen, and they should go back to being in love with her pretty, rich sisters.
Surprising no one but Belle, it didn’t work. These fickle assholes redoubled their efforts, proposing some new entertainment or restaurant in the hopes of sweet talking her into their beds and their wallets. They even talked about putting together games in her honor, and wanted her to be the one to give out the prizes. Belle could clearly see how much this attention was pissing off her sisters, which she didn’t want (even if they did deserve it), but she was also enjoying all of the attention from these charming, attractive men for the first time in her life, so she offered a compromise. The games would be in honor of all seven women, and she and her sisters would alternate in giving out the prizes. Belle chose simple things, such as a single flower, while her sisters chose jewels, diamond-studded crowns, lacquered armor, and solid gold bracelets (all from the chests that Belle had brought home with her from the Beast’s castle). In this way, she hoped that she would help her sisters to regain the hearts of the young men who flattered her, but who she did not love or wish to marry. It didn’t work. The men cherished the simple prizes from her hands far more than the lavish luxuries doled out by her sisters.
In such ways, Belle passed her time at home. She loved seeing her father again, and spending time with her brothers, who all wanted to show her just how much they had missed her, and even talking with her sisters (although they enjoyed it less than she did), but none of it completely made up for the absence of her Prince from her dreams. She waited for him every night, but she was always alone. Her sister’s suitors were a pale imitation of his beauty, charm, and wit, and they did little to satisfy her. She missed her Prince.
Belle had tried just ignoring the young men who were hell-bent on gaining her hand (and the dowry it came with), but that just wasn’t working, and her sisters were growing more and more jealous by the day, so she decided that she needed to let them all know, in no uncertain terms, that it wasn’t going to happen. She’s just not that into you, bro!
She spoke with the young man who had been vying for her eldest sister’s hand first. She told him that she had only come home to be able to attend her sisters’ weddings, especially her eldest sister, and that she was going to urge her father to arrange them as soon as possible. “I am sorry, my dear sweet Belle, but I no longer love your sister. Indeed, I can’t even see what attracted me to her in the first place. Compared to you, she’s a frigid, jealous bitch. I love you, Belle. Only you.” She tried being as cold and haughty as she knew how, and even threatened to leave before the two months was over, but it was no use. He was just as in love with her when she left as he had been when she arrived. Frustrated at her failure, she tried again with each of the others, but it was the same with each of them. None of them could be persuaded to stop trying to win the hand of a woman who had made it very, very clear that she wasn’t interested.
To make things worse, her sisters refused to believe that she wasn’t encouraging all of them when their backs were turned. They saw her as a rival for the hands of the most eligible men in the area, and they were losing. They hated losing. Still worse, the young men had begun to talk of fighting it out amongst themselves in a series of duels, with the winner taking Belle’s hand (nevermind that Belle didn’t want her hand as such a prize). It was all too much. She began to make plans to go back to her palace retreat before the two months was up. Her father and brothers tried to talk her out of it, but Belle was sure that only by getting out of the way could her sisters get their lives and marriages back on track. This madness would continue until she was out of sight and out of mind. She did, however, promise to hold off as long as she possibly could so that they could get as much time as possible with her before she left them again forever.
The two months were nearly up anyway at this point, and every day, Belle woke up promising that today would be the day she left, but the smiling faces of her father and brothers would appear, and she would find herself delaying by just one more day. One night as she slept, she found herself back in the palace. She walked along a remote, secluded lane, ending in a thicket of wicked brambles. Behind the thorned greenery, she could just make out the entrance to a cave; out of the depths of that cave emerged hideous, agonzied groans. Belle knew that voice – it was the Beast.
She forced her way through the brambles and hurried to his aid. She found him deep inside, stretched out on the ground. It was pitch black in the cave, but in the way of dreams, she could still see perfectly. He writhed and twitched in the dirt, and his breath rattled in his chest. He was dying; she was sure of it. His eyes, sunken and blackened by illness and lack of sleep, opened to meet hers. “Why did you leave me, Belle? Why are you letting me die? I was nothing but kind to you, and you repay me by murdering me? You promised, Belle! Why?”
Before she could answer, Belle saw the strange woman she had dreamt before. “You’ve been gone too long, Belle. If you delay your promise much longer, you’ll kill him and bring about your own ruin in the process. You promised you would be back in two months. Two months is come and gone. You promised! If you stay away a day longer, you’ll finally kill him. Look at how miserable your life is at home! Look at the trouble you cause by being there! The Beast loves you and your sisters hate you. Why choose them over him?”
Belle awoke in a panicked sweat, gasping for breath. She was horrified at the idea of being the cause of the Beast’s death. For all that he was sort of her jailer, he had always been incredibly kind to her, and she could understand how lonely he must have been. She couldn’t repay his sweetness with indifference and suffering. She had to go back. Now. Today.
Belle’s family is not going to like losing her again, but they’ll have time to try to talk her out of it until next episode because it’s time for Gods and Monsters. This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story. This week’s monster is the matagot.
Old France was apparently just lousy with weird spirits, and the matagot definitely qualifies. The matagot is a spirit creature, mostly found in southern France, disguised as an animal. It’s preferred form was a black cat (because everyone knows cat’s are evil fuckers), but they could also shapeshift into rats, foxes, dogs, or cows as needed.
In the wild, matagots were evil creatures, and they could be malicious and even downright dangerous, unless you knew the trick to taming them. In the places where it dwells, local lore warns against answering any greeting after sundown, lest you make yourself open to their mischief. They could move with incredible speed in the darkness, meaning you had no chance whatsoever of outrunning it if it decided to hunt you. Like the Cheshire Cat, the unlucky traveler who answered its call could only see it eyes glowing in the darkness or, if it was toying with you, a pale luminescence emenanting from its body. Once a matagot was on your trail, your only hope was to cover your eyes and recite the Paternoster, or the Lord’s Prayer, in Latin and hope that the saints would keep you safe until you could stumble your way into a lighted cottage and safe from the darkness.
If you were up for a little bit of risk for a slow but steady return, you could lure a matagot into your house with a fresh, plump chicken. Once you found your evil spirit cat, and more importantly, it saw the tasty dead bird, you had to lead it back to your home without ever looking back (a common theme in mythology). If you did so (and if the cat following wasn’t just a hungry cat following a meal), then the creature would be bound to your house. If you then made sure to give the cat the first mouthful of food and drink at every meal in the house (because cats have always thought of themselves as better than you), then it would repay you by leaving you a solid gold coin every morning. Not a bad trade, right? Of course, nothing good can last forever, and it was considered a terrible idea to try and keep a matagot forever. In Gascony traditions, if you were unlucky enough to still have a matagot bound to you when you were dying, you would suffer long, enduring agony until you freed the spirit as it would bind your soul into your dying body until you did so.
It is believed that the term is derived from the Spanish words matar (meaning to kill) and gothos (meaning Goths, but not the kind that like black leather and white makeup). The Germanic Goth tribes settled in Spain, Southern Italy, and Southern France, eventually converting to Christianity as the religion swept through the region. Later, the Moors, or Moros, who were Muslim, would move into the region, and people began to think of themselves as either Gothos or Moros, so a mata-gothos was an evil spirit that killed Christians, but not Muslims.
The creature is still popular today, showing up in the Cainsville series by Kelley Armstrong and, more recently, in the most recent Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them movie, The Crimes of Grindelwald, where they hang out in the French Ministry of Magic, appropriately enough. So, if you are out in southern France after dark and you hear someone saying hello, you should either be rude and ignore them or try and lure them home with a fresh, raw chicken, your choice.
That’s it for this episode of Myths Your Teacher Hated. Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on Stitcher, on TuneIn, and on Spotify, or you can follow us on Twitter as @HardcoreMyth and on Instagram as Myths Your Teacher Hated Pod. You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com. If you like what you’ve heard, I’d appreciate a review on iTunes. These reviews really help increase the show’s standing and let more people know it exists. If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated. The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff, whom you can find on fiverr.com.
Next time, Belle is going to go in search of her dreams. You’ll see that monkeys are always prepared, that no one wants to be crushed during sex, and that Disney princesses always think that breaking into song is the answer. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll take you hunting for a strange goat that is totally real, I like really promise you guys. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.