Episode 100 – Dragon Tales – Myths Your Teacher Hated

Episode 100 Show Notes

Source: Korean Folklore

This week on MYTH, a young man is going on a journey across ancient Korea in search of some answers. You’ll find that straw sandals aren’t durable, that some people are just cursed, and that being a dragon has some weird prerequisites. Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the ancient origin of the dragonballs that spells bad news for rich people. This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them. This is Episode 100, “Dragon Tales”. As always, this episode is not safe for work.
We’ve finally reached the official Episode 100, even if it did take me 155 actual episodes to get there. As you’ve probably noticed by now, I can ramble on and on and on about this beloved special interest, so thank you all for giving me a place to do that without annoying everyone in my life. I also want to apologize for my rough voice this week. I’m getting over the Con Crud after DragonCon, but at least it’s not the Covid. I’ll do my best to match my usual dulcet tones, but no promises. Stay safe out there, ya’ll.
This week, I wanted to keep the youngest son of a poor farmer train a-rolling and so we’re headed to Korea for a very different variation on this classic story type. This particular tale comes from Korean Folktales: In the Old, Old Days, When Tigers Smoked Tobacco Pipes (which is just a fantastic title) translated by Heinz Insu Fenkl. Long, long ago, there lived a father with his three sons. As usual, the mother is nowhere to be found in this story. Given the bad luck this family has (as we’re about to see), I can’t imagine anything good befell her.
Anyway, the man and his sons had a small plot of land, but it was an absolute piece of shit. They did their best to eke out a living by farming it, but crop after crop failed leaving them utterly destitute and on the brink of starvation. They were only barely able to stave off death’s chill embrace by weaving straw sandals for the local villagers. In the old days in Korea, people regularly wore disposable straw sandals that wore out quickly. In many places, distances were colloquially measured in the number of sandals you’d wear out on the journey. Thus, a steady stream of such shoes was needed but they fetched very little money since they were of such poor quality and the average person could easily weave their own if the price wasn’t dirt cheap. Resorting to selling them was a clear sign that the seller had fallen on the absolute hardest of times.
Most of the family simply accepted their lot in life and resolved to work their fingers to the bone for the worst kind of life until they finally reached a point where death was a sweet release. The youngest son however thought this fatalist attitude was bullshit and decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly spoiled for choices. Unless he wanted to turn to thievery and banditry (which he definitely did not), then the only option he could think of was to go up to Heaven to ask the Jade Emperor ‘what the fuck, dude?’ The youngest son dusted himself off and went to his father. “Look, dad, I appreciate how hard you’re working to keep us all afloat but you know as well as I do that this sucks and it isn’t going to get better without serious help. I’ve decided to go ask the Jade Emperor why our lot in life must be so hard. Maybe knowing the reason why will help me change it, but even if not, at least I’ll have the satisfaction of understanding why we have to suffer like this.” His father was aghast at this proposal which, to be fair, did sound completely absurd. “My son, you seek the impossible! No mere mortal can enter the Heavenly Kingdom – you’ll surely die in the attempt.” The young man shrugged. “I’ll die if I stay here, it will just take a bit longer. I’d rather die trying than live in regret. Sorry, pops. I’m going.”
He made himself a sturdy staff of iron to help him in his walk (and for protection in a pinch). I have no idea how he got the money for that, but somehow he did. The young man set out from his village, resolving to keep walking until his metal walking stick had worn down to nothing. If he hadn’t found the Kingdom of Heaven by then, he never would. Picking a direction based purely on instinct, he set out. He left behind his village and everything and everyone he had ever known. He walked and walked until, at last, he found himself standing on the shores of the sea. He had never seen such a great expanse of water before and thus didn’t really know how he was going to cross it. It was getting late in the day, so the young man decided to try and find someplace to eat and spend the night. He’d had to camp out under the stars plenty of times on his journey but tonight, he got lucky. Not far up the beach, he spied a large, elegant house. Surely the owner of such a fine home could afford to be a little generous.
He walked up to the door and called out a polite greeting to the owner. Instead, a maid poked her head out and returned his greeting. “I have come a long, long way and could use a place to spend the night. Would it be possible for me to stay here?” The maid smiled and welcomed him inside as their guest. “Of course, young man, come in! You can sleep in the room by the gate. We don’t get many guests all the way out here by the sea. It gets kind of lonely, to be honest. It’s just me and the young widow who owns this place out here.” It’s pretty trusting to let this strange young man who could totally be a thief know that there were only two people here, but maybe she was just a good judge of character. This young man was indeed kind and honest.
The maid served him a very tasty dinner and then asked him if he would be willing to meet the young widow. She too was lonely out here all alone and was curious to meet this wandering stranger for herself. The young man was all too happy to oblige. It was only polite to indulge the woman who was giving him food and shelter for free after all. The maid ushered him in to meet the most beautiful young woman he had ever laid eyes on. She greeted him kindly and asked him who he was and where he was headed. “No one special – I am just a poor son from a poor family. We couldn’t manage to grow anything on our miserable speck of land so we had to resort to selling straw sandals. I’ve decided to visit the Heavenly Kingdom and ask the Jade Emperor to explain why my fate must be so harsh.”
The young woman considered him, head tilted slightly. “That’s…very brave of you. Would you be willing to ask him a question for me as well?” “Of course. You’ve been so generous with your home and your food, so I would be happy to ask a question on your behalf. What would you like to know?” She sighed. “I’ve been married several times. I’ve loved my husbands and so it has been heartbreaking that each of them has died almost as soon as we were wed. Would you ask the Jade Emperor why this is so? Promise me that you’ll bring the answer back to me if you manage to find him.” The young man so swore that he would ask her question if he ever had the chance and bring her back whatever answer he was given.
The next day, he thanked the young widow and set out once more. He quickly reached the coast and, obviously, he couldn’t keep walking in that direction so he headed up along the shore. Before long, he came across a little boat. It didn’t seem to belong to anyone, so he climbed aboard, hoisted the sail, and headed out across the waves. I mentioned that the young man didn’t have any experience with the sea and very little with large bodies of water in general, so he was a pretty piss-poor sailor. If he’d been more experienced, he might have realized that a storm was brewing before setting sail. He wasn’t and he didn’t, so he got caught in the full fury of the gale on the open waters. Through sheer grit and pluck, he managed to keep the boat afloat but had no control whatsoever over where he went.
The young man was driven far out to sea. At last, he saw a small island jutting out of the towering waves like a beacon of hope. Mustering all of his meager skill, the young man managed to beach his boat on the sandy shores of the island. Hopping off his battered craft, he headed inland to find shelter from the storm. As he approached the grass at the edge of the beach, he heard a loud, sibilant voice. “Who goes there? Who dares set foot on my island?” The young man looked around in shock and alarm for the source of this unexpected voice. Some distance ahead, he saw a massive reptilian head raising itself out of the grass, its skin the texture of a rough straw mat. This creature was staggeringly huge, its immense body winding back and forth along itself across a huge swath of island, and the young man realized he was speaking to an ancient, powerful serpent.
“I beg your pardon – I had no idea this was your island. I was driven here by the storm on my way to the Heavenly Kingdom. I have a question for the Jade Emperor.” The serpent considered this, weaving sinuously back and forth as it thought. “Then I shall help you if you will promise to ask a question for me as well. I want you to ask the Jade Emperor why I cannot ascend to Heaven and become a dragon even though the time of my transformation has long since come and gone.” The young man nodded politely. “I promise that I will ask him your question when I make it to the Heavenly Kingdom.”
The serpent stared into the young man’s eyes for a long moment, judging his honesty, before opening its mouth wide. It was a terrifying sight to behold, large, dark, fanged death. Fortunately, the serpent had decided to trust the young man and only exhaled a cloud of scintillating mist. It spread out in a thick fog that hung heavy until the storm clouds passed and the sun peered down at last. Where those golden rays struck the mist, they exploded into a dazzling rainbow that arched up from the island into the great expanse of the heavens above. “Climb the rainbow bridge – it will take you to the Heavenly Kingdom.”
It took a great deal of courage to walk into the sky on a bridge of solid light, but the young man was determined to get his answers. The sun stayed burning brightly above and soon he found himself stepping out into the Heavenly Kingdom as promised. In fact, looking around, he realized that the serpent had managed to carry him directly into the throne room of the Jade Emperor himself. That was helpful – now he wouldn’t have to convince a bunch of guards to let him in (which he was not at all certain they would do).
This bold young man might have audacity out the ass, but he also knew how to be polite. The Jade Emperor was more than a little surprised to see this mortal man standing before him, but at least the young man bowed deeply before the throne. “Who are you? Why have you come here, a place no mortal should tread?” The young man bowed again. “I am just the humble son of a poor farmer. My family’s lives have all been terribly harsh for no apparent reason. Nothing would grow on our farm, forcing us to resort to weaving straw sandals. I have come a long, long way to ask you one question, your Imperial Highness – why? Why must our lives be so terrible?”
The Emperor considered the mortal standing before him. It took great courage and determination to make this perilous journey. He respected that. He nodded, coming to a decision. “It was your fate. Had I circumvented it and given you all comfortable lives instead, you would all have died an early death.” That was not the answer the young man had expected. Hell, it was barely an answer at all! “I don’t understand – why would we have died early if we’d had better lives?” The Jade Emperor shook his head. “Enough. It is not for mortals to know too much of their own destiny. You need only understand that even I, as powerful as I am, do not control the twistings of fate. I am sorry.”
His shoulders slumped a little, but then he straightened resolutely. “Very well. I have two more questions for you, if I may. Questions I promised to ask for those who helped me on this quest.” The Emperor inclined his head in assent. “The young widow who lives by the ocean – why do her husbands keep dying?” “Because they were not her destiny. She could have a long and happy marriage if she were to wed a man who has a magic jewel. Any other man who marries her will die soon thereafter.” The young man nodded. That was a more actionable answer, at least. “Thank you. My last question is this: there is an old serpent who lives on the island at the end of the rainbow bridge – why can he not ascend to Heaven and become a dragon? He says that he has lived more than long enough to meet the prerequisites to level up.” “Ah, him. That greedy serpent is trapped by his own avarice. The Law of Heaven clearly states that a dragon may possess only one magic jewel, but he has two and refuses to give either up. So long as he has both, he can never become a dragon.”
The young man thanked the Jade Emperor again for his wisdom. Sure, he hadn’t gotten the answer he had come here seeking, but at least he had managed to obtain answers to the two helpful creatures who had aided him in his venture. At least this quest would still help someone, even if it wasn’t him. See, he really is a generous soul. He bowed his way out of the palace and returned to the Rainbow Bridge. Going down was even more nerve-wracking than going up had been, but he made it safely back to the isolated island to find the serpent waiting for him.
“Did the Emperor speak with you? What did he say?” The youth bowed respectfully to the great wyrm. “He did indeed, Master Serpent. The Jade Emperor said that the Law of Heaven forbids you from becoming a dragon so long as you possess two magic jewels. If you can abandon one of them along with your greed, you will have your greatest desire.” The serpent stared at the young man for a disconcertingly long time, but at last, he appeared satisfied with what he saw. “I believe you speak the truth. Very well, the solution is very simple then. Here, you take one of the magic jewels.” No sooner had he handed the spectacular artifact over than the serpent’s form exploded in a blaze of golden light. When it faded, a magnificent dragon stood where the wyrm had been. With a roar of triumph, the dragon leapt into the air and sailed up towards the Heavens, vanishing in a scintillating blaze of rainbow colors.
The storm had passed completely while the young man had been in the Kingdom of Heaven, so he pushed his battered boat back out to sea. The winds were more favorable this time, and he soon found himself approaching the beach where the beautiful young widow lived in her lonely house. She was thrilled to see him returning. He was the first guest she’d had in some time and she’d enjoyed their conversation. Even more, she had hope that he might at last solve the terrible riddle of her deadly love life. “Did you find the Jade Emperor? Were you able to ask him why I am doomed to be a widow?” The young man nodded. “I did indeed. He said that your husbands die because they do not possess a magic jewel. All you need to do to have a long and happy marriage is wed a man who does have such a thing.”
The widow’s joy crashed around her. “That’s depressing. I mean, thank you for finally getting me an answer but how am I supposed to find a man with a magic jewel? They’re not exactly common, obviously.” The young man smiled. “They’re certainly not common, but I happen to know where you can find just such a man.” Reaching into his travel bag, he pulled out the gem the dragon had gifted him and told her the story. “You are the most interesting, most beautiful woman I have ever met. I think we could be very happy together and finally break your curse. Why not marry me?”
The young widow broke into a radiant smile and threw her arms around the young man’s neck, laughing and crying and delightedly agreeing to his proposal. The two of them (and presumably the woman’s maid) packed up the lonely house and headed back to the young man’s home. His family was astonished to see the youngest son not only returned alive but with a beautiful wife in tow. With her help, the family was able to rise out of their abject poverty and begin to make better lives for themselves. They all lived happily ever after, having already endured all the hardships that Heaven had fated for them.
I like this version of the story trope. The youngest son manages to make things better for everyone involved without any beatings or bullying from cruel family. Even better, he mostly does this by being polite, friendly, and determined. The Jade Emperor sets him up to get the real answer he’s seeking (ie, how he can have a better life), but only if he’s clever enough to see the solution. To be fair, it doesn’t take a LOT of cleverness to see that particular solution, especially once the dragon straight up gives him a magic gem, but still. I like this dude and I’m glad he got a rare happy ending. And so with fate finally sorted out, it’s time for Gods and Monsters. This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story. This week’s monster is the yeongno.
This enormous serpent monster is fairly unusual in that it only appears in a handful of masked dance-dramas from the Gangwon-do Province of South Korea. It doesn’t appear in any of the broader folklore in the region, though it is typically considered to be an imugi, or a lesser dragon. In most stories, they resemble enormous serpents (not unlike our friend from the main story). Also like that island-dwelling critter, these proto-dragons dearly want to become a full-fledged flying fucking dragon. Because who wouldn’t?
The explanation for why they are the way they are varies from story to story. In some tales, it was believed that an imugi could become a yong or mireu, two names for the long, thin, bearded dragons similar in shape to the more widely known Chinese dragons but typically leaner and longer – stretching up to 50 ft in some tales. In some, the imugi simply has to survive in its serpent form for 1,000 years in order to ascend to the Heavenly Kingdom and become a dragon. In others, the imugi had to find and capture a Yeouiju, or a magical mystical orb (picture a dragonball from the anime and you’ll be in the right ballpark) as it fell from the sky. These powerful gems were said to bless their owners with great wisdom and give them the ability to shape the world with their will alone. Again, not unlike a dragonball (probably because the show was heavily influenced by classical mythology). Still other tales claimed that these hornless creatures had been cursed by the heavens to never be able to become a dragon, which is a lot more sad.
However the imugi came into being, these large python-like entities tended to be large, helpful, and lucky. If you could find one living in a pond or a cave in most stories, then simply sighting one was said to bring you great good luck. The yeongno in particular is said to be a specific type of imugi. In the Talchum performances it appears in, these lucky dragons have a different way of ascending to the Kingdom and Heaven and becoming a dragon – eating the rich. I like them already.
The yeongno exists in direct opposition to the yangbans, a part of the traditional ruling class in Korea during the Joseon Dynasty. The yangban was mostly composed of bureaucrats and military officers, who (like the hereditary nobility) depended on the work of the indentured servitude of the lower classes to make their living. In the dance, the yeongno was cast out of heaven for some unspecified crime. It could only return to its heavenly home once it ate 100 wicked yangban. At the time the story begins, 99 have already been devoured – it turns out to be very easy to find wicked yangbans. The yeongno confronts his 100th but confides that if a true nobleman confronts him and tells him to go away, he will do so.
This yangban manages to go from mortally terrified to arrogant as shit in two seconds flat. He puffs out his chest and reveals that he actually comes from a family of noblemen, thank you very much. Absurdly confident with very little cause, he swaggers around the stage ordering the yeogno to leave right now – the yangban commands him. The enormous serpent cocks his head and then eats the shit out of the yangban. That makes an even hundred, so off to the heavens he goes. Given that this variation only exists in these regional performances, the yeongno was likely more of a dramatic interpretation of the public’s wishes to, well, eat the rich than an actual creature from folklore but it was too much fun not to talk about (and the broader imugi are very much found across the old stories). Still, it doesn’t stop me from hoping they’re real. Hey, a person can dream.
That’s it for this episode of Myths Your Teacher Hated. Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on Stitcher, on TuneIn, on Vurbl, and on Spotify, or you can follow us on Twitter as @HardcoreMyth and on Instagram as Myths Your Teacher Hated Pod. You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com. If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line. I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated. The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff.
Next time, we’re headed to Rapa Nui aka Easter Island for some origin stories. You’ll discover why you shouldn’t cheat during the dating game, why you should always check your servants for assassins, and why you should watch the birds if you’re afraid of dying. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how to make giant stone statues. Spoiler alert – it involves a penis. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening.